Her Fairytale Prince Crushed Her Heart & Shattered Her Dreams..

PRINCESS ~ Expect things Tat Is Unexpected

2011-06-02T20:10:00.329+08:00

The Princess Is Back In Town!!!!

I guess by now, everyone noes it the

Princess recently had a break up..

Yes, she cried but she managed to hide it..

She's been deceived,been cheated.

She's hurt,She's bitten, She's Crushed

but all tat makes her stronger....

School....

Well, I just graduated from ITE few months ago..Wee...Yes, I managed to get into polytechnic and it's REPUBLIC POLYTECHNIC..Though its not my ideal poly but wat matter most I'm able to continue my studies. I'm in INTEGRATED EVENTS MANAGEMENT. Hmm..school has been great with all my everlasting funny classmates.But, its not gonna last long as we will be changing class every semester..

Hmm..Wats bout RP??Well, its air-con everywhere,you can call it a human freezer.They emphasise on punctuality.You can't even be late for 1 min.You can't ask for more than 4 MCs ..hmm..I hate Maths, you noe tat well and I'm learning it now plus its A-MATHS...-___-..

I'm lying if I said I dun miss ITE lyfe..ITE is so much better..I miss every single things there especially in Clementi. Aniwae, No matter wat, I hev to adapt and I nid to get into UNIVERSITY..

My clique? One person is missing and its none other than our noisy faz...

My grandpa just passed away and I lost another person...It saddens when sumtimes when you do things, your mind just flash about things you used to do it wit her..I hope she rest in peace.Though she has gone for sumtimes, she still lingers in my mind and all I cud do is pray for her. We miss you Faz and now, its left wit oni 4 of us. Life is a pain when you go away.If oni you noe fren, we broke up ..alot of things happened...I'm still upset at times though..=")

I miss you Faz..

Our favourite place in class at B2/202...Our clique fav table & we make noises out from there..

Tis pic we took on the 2nd day of orientation after we work together to bring up cheers and won the nicest t-shirt design that we ask Slay to wear..It was the beginning of our friendship..

The outings we have & the laughter ...

The memories back then when there was no sadness..

M.L....

Helo ladies!!! Okae...Hmm...Wat can I say?? We all lepak2 one corner..I dunno,wen I tok my malay just cum out like tat....hahah!! Okae,tats wat Dee Kosh ever said in his youtube video...Hmm...At the moment, we gerls are having fun wit Karaoke only...Becoz tats our hobby I guess...But, we missing playing pool as well..I'm busy schooling and they are busy werking...So,the best time to see each other is alwaes on Fri at nyte...

Aniwae, soon we all nid to go sheesha aite or any gathering outing & share stories again..ok, so, last weekend me and ira went to Sentosa to chill awhile..so the bitches went to the beach...=)))

Here's my claim for all these years...After all these years, fren that i've known that stood there for me all awhile has changed...Criously, from a girl tat does not know how to dress up and being so untidy has makeover for herself and truthfully from my heart, over the years that i've known i am so glad that she is very pretty now. i am so hepi for her. In fact, I get stunned by her beauty now..All the best to you..Stay pretty alwaes IRA!!! ;)))

Lyfe...

Well, all i can sae is I'm trying to get a free tyme to spent wit all the people around me..I'm finding free tyme to spent wit my classmates, wit my gerlfrens and I'm planning for gathering wit my ITE clique and my Pri school mates..=))...

Me and Prince are back together again..As usual, we are alwaes quarrelling but we managed to pull through..needs great patience though. Well, recently, he followed me and family to Melacca for one day on a mission about my bro..We had great time and it was the first time he slept in a hotel wit my family..I love him bcoz he's patient..hmm..Well, wat can i sae? Time pulls us away..

Frens said it gud for us tat we are from same school and its easy for us to meet. But, they dunno the tight schedule,the presentation, the time is just not enuf for us to meet each other and spend tyme..Even if we spend tyme, its just for awhile.He's busy werking, sumtimes attending talk and going out wit classmates..Me busy wit preparing presentations,attending talk and going ngaji..

So, if he's busy wit his frens , then I'm starting to spend tyme wit frens and going back to my old life.. =) I'm missing hym though , everydae..

I'm not coping well in RP bcoz I did badly for my Maths and Science..My maths is atrocious.I did not expect that I actuali have to go back learning maths again..haix..Dun ask me bout tat bcoz I'm demoralised ryte now..

Well, wat can i sae bout my life ryte now? All the guys I've known before came back to remind me of the past..Though I'm giving a second thought, i still love my Prince. He was the one who came into my lyfe wen darkness surrounds my love story and I won't forget where I start my love book.

I admit he's a pain in the ass and I'm not being hypocrite of it but no matter wat, I stayed wit hym..

I knew his inside and out. Rather than i noe new guys and dunno of wat will expect of them, i wud prefer staying wit Prince..

ouh yarh, my burfdae cumg!!!! Its 31st July!! Hooray!! Hmm.. Fasting month is coming!! Hooray, wanna lose weight!!! I'm planning to make Lemon Yellow as my Baju Raya wit Prince. and maybe Blue or Red wit Family? hmm..unsure of it yet.

Well, i had great tyme mixing wit hys frens like diq and Babu..funny guys..ouh yea, as usual i hate his smoking habits...he will not change tat aniwae and it sux..

Well,here are some pictures from Malacca..

Tats me,mum and Prince..=)

Our bus when we went to Malacca..=))

Me and my elder sis..

You noe I love G-Belt...;))

ouh yea,Check it out!!! I watch Senjakala...Hero dier ZAHIRIL ADZIM...Cute ape!! mcm Ariel Peter Pan...tapi, da tunang la seyy...hahah!! Aniwae, here is his pic.

Okae, wats wit indonesia?? hmm...nie jugak pujaan ati..hahaha

So, I'm hepi that IGO won the Indonesian Idol!!! Hooray!! CUTE!! Ouh and he reminds me of Raihan,my sec 5 classmate.

Cute kn??aku tahu..hehe..

okae..So, next is Rahayu..Anugerah!!! I noe she will win and I was hoping she wud win...She has the nicest voice of all..I noe it wen i went to watch Anugerah..The momeny she sang, my hair goes up and I told Baby that she can win the competition. I guess wat i said is true!! hehe..So wise of M Nasir to choose his singer..All the best.

I dun kinda favour shikin bcoz she talks alot..especially when she convincing people to vote for her..Erlina is a low profile gerl,she sang nicely but the X factor is not there yet..Ceyy,mcm phm seyy aku..aniwae, tats wat i feel oni..haha..

and yarh,tis is my classmates for this semester.

ok..so back to my life..I'm freaking bored at home now..Being a gud gerl,stayed at home on weekends..RP is so sickening..doesn't let u relax first and now we are taking UT 2..haish...Aniwae,wat can I sae..everydae is just the same thing,same routine...Haish..

Prince is at home.As usual,if he's not attached to his sofa or bed, he will be out wit Diq and Babu..

Have you ever feel of being betrayed by sumone that you love & trust so much?? Once bitten twice,tats wat they sae..Sumtimes I question myself in what way did I neglected hym?? Time,Money,Love,Care,Concern...

A lion that is being unfaithful to her queen and her prince that played his princess heart..

In my entire life, I was never dishonest to my love not yet being unfaithful. Becoz I noe Love is sumting great that goes beyond your imagination..Tats the reason why I never confessed Love to just any guy I like.If you say you love at many gerls and guys than you have yet to noe whats the meaning..

He broke many promises to me..Promises are never meant to be broken.Promises are meant for people who are trustworthy and being true to themselves.Its broken bcoz these people just enjoy ruining the werd...They can't be true to the promises they make,yet alone how to be true to themselves and the people they love??

And this is wat I've alwaes hope for..

So,recently, me and hym went for Picnic at Sentosa!! haha!! My fav place indeed..

Well, I'm just me..A simple gerl with no make up at most times..Dress comfortably...Dream unconditionally...Try her best..Smile for the sake of seeing other people's happiness...Lack of attention,lack of care, lack of freedom and hunger for Pure Love.. Becoz Simplicity is just perfection for me..

~All these years I have been Single and I alwaes think that its ok for me...

Becoz I believe that one dae when I start to share my heart with a person, he will be the perfect one for me.

But, somehow,sumwhere,

My heart's bitten..

My dreams crushed.

* The Princess never fake her

Love because the Eyes never Lie.

Will the smile be the same again

10 years down the road?

I'm a Kid at Heart...A Bitch with an Attitude & A Lady wit Class....

2011-03-30T12:42:00.000+08:00

Hie Everybody....To All My Readers,I Apologise on not updating for so long...I've been busy though...Many things reali happen,Many Things Struck My LYfe....Aniwae, I'm Back!!! WEE!!!!!

School....

Hello...hee...School has ended..Tat was wat i hev waited since 2 years ago...Though it has ended,I felt i reali miss School alot...I mean u noe,the routine u've gone tru in ur daily life in ITE..Its like suddenly everything changed...I miss my frens..I miss my teachers...I miss Sc people,I miss my dancers and of course I miss Everybody...Not forgetting Clementi...To me, CCK doesn't gave me a big impact.Clementi played a big part in my life...It was how i noe my frens...U noe u stepped into a school for the first day...the place i noe my SC family..And it was the place i fall for Prince...It was the place tat make me so hepi in my entire life though its old and boring...

School has ended & I felt so relieved wit my report & presentation..PRJ, tat is the onli module i felt i have put a lot of effort in it...Have u like seen a report so thick like a dictionary??hehe...Ms joei was impressed...I hope we did veri well for tat.PIC, we did well for all ou presentation..Just tat, I tink my last test is not well done...Haix...And my AOFA, i submitted it alreadi...U noe its like have u ever seen me so damn hardworking??hahah...tats bcoz I was the leader for my modules...And i felt i want my members to tink they aren't stupid at all...=))

Aniwae,just wish good luck for everybody who took the test...3 more days & u will see the results..And Btw, REPUBLIC POLY IS 3RD in Ranking now!!! 1st is Ngee ann, 2nd is Singapore, 3rd is RP, 4th is Temasek and 5th is Nanyang. Can't wait to take my cert...

ouh well, I'm disappointed with my class..its like i didn't noe bout the ordering of the class photo..No one told me...Aniwae, i wanted it so badly so I fork out 20 dollars to scan 8R formal & informal photo..here it is...NICE!!! I love it wen i took pics wit Baby & we shall kip for memories so tat in future we will remember our love during school days...=))

SWEET RYTE???hehehe...

M.L

Welcome back Ladies.....Thanks to Diana for reuniting us...I'm not tat gud in creating the group thingy in FB...now,I have learnt how to...haha...Tanx, u taught me at the same tyme..Aniwae, We have come back to enjoy...Nightlife, Fantasy, Guys...Well, just tat i dun follow them to club animore...I mean its like i feel its a sin...Everthough u dun drink,u still like join them n its like bersubahat thingy...So,i feel i shud avoid...I mean for Ira's burfdae in May, well i have to bcoz its her burfdae..so,kasi chance uh eh...hehe...We went to hang out, meet for karaoke sometimes...I mean do u see gerls lepak at kedai kopi??You dun ryte?? well, our gerls are on the ball for almost aniting...I love my gerls coz with them i feel i'm....well,i dunno how to describe it...Aniwae, i hope we will stay longer & may one day M.L bcame an existence for publicity..You gerls noe wat i mean..;))...Recently, We celebrated Ayn's Burfdae....Surprise!!! Hope she's hepi wit her life though her father's aren't there animore...ANiwae, after tat we went to watch SUCKER PUNCH..And they chose me as the gerl Blondie,which in tat movie is Vanessa Hudgens...=))

SUCKER PUNCH!!!!!

And well, Congrats to us we've known for 8 years...=))

BARBEQUE WIT MY GERLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

At Ira Relative Chalet...And Huda & Eka Rosli miss the gathering...

Work.....

Well, for ur info, I'm a sentosian now..I work in admission department...$7/hr...good cash ryte..hehe...Well, just by standing,saying Hi and u noe be alert so tat ppl are safe on the plaform..I oso work as a cashier at times...So many customers attitude problem tat i have to overcome..But, I learnt it and tats a good way of practising my Service excellence skills...=))....Though its tired, I'm so hepi wit my good frens over there..They are reali fun ppl... I mean u dun hev typical minah tat ..u noe i noe...We work well together and enjoy ourselves...Well, I got a veri good xperience over there..and aniwae, i got another offer at ISETAN....hehe...Well, I'm back to my Shopaholic Lyfe..Wen i work, I'm a Shopaholic...But wen i dun, I'm a Saver...;))

Here is my freaking ugly photo on the ground..

Check tis out!!! My training for my batch as Sentosian...We got almost all the attractions free!!!Hooray!!Xcept for Universal Studios..Its not under us...

This is our training room...We ate delicious food and learn so much things..

Images Of Singapore...Its so fun..full of wax figures and its like haunted...=))

Tats one of our cute little supervisor, Shamiha...=))

At fort siloso...

Me, Izuanto, faisal & Shariena...

Skyride!! We took the luge as well...=))Taufiq,Juli,Me & kamarul ariffin

Kamarul is funny..he said the luge is below the skyride and tats bcoz its for us to spit at them while on the ride...-_-..

And finally, its us...We are known as Sentosian...Its our home...=)

From top, me, juli,kavitha,zul,izuanto,faisal,royston (a version of my ex-classmate,Yong qin,haha!), Uzair,shu xin, Zahin, kamarul and Taufiq...=))

NCC & SC....

Wat shall i sae for NCC??Well, its tyme i go off since my sis is taking over me...I hope she goes for CLT course...Aniwae, My hair is not up to standard so i can't...hehe...But, i reali miss Ncc...It taught me alot of tings so i can't possibly forgets tat.....Aniwae, the new batch of Ncos has just step up to take charge...I hope they will give a good example to my future cadets...

Bon VOYage!!!=))

As for SC, we just had a gathering yesterdae and its like we had great tyme bcoz we recall back the times as a student councilor....Those were the days....I miss it so much...Well, life has to go..things will change & we have to adapt to it...So,we actuali wanna plan again another outing..Well, we went sheesha-ing..and for fuck, i got sore throat but i still sheesha..guess, i'm stubborn..hehe...Imran as usual, likes to bully everyone...he's crazy,everybody noes..hehe..

sadly, sahrifah,edwin,ali and linus miss the fun..and of course the banking people,they shud join too...I miss them...Peeps, we are finally over as an SC...We did it though we almost fall at the first part wen we just take over the senior positions...aniwae, we learnt the hard way, we learnt to be independent...and of course, we miss the seniors so much!!!!!!=))

Well, pictures explain our outing..

Deputy of Projects & Chairman of House...
Projects: Missing is Chairman,Edwin & Deputy, Ali...
House: Missing is my 2 deputies, Sahrifah & Nadia...

The Well-Being people: Fierce ryte??!!hehe..

Chairman: Ashley

Deputy : Alvin

Senior Member : Haridz..

Although Haridz is just a senior, he contributes well and we have never play rank in SC...

Everyone has a say and tats sumting special in SC clementi...

Vice-President : Shakir

President : Dhurgaes

Treasurer : Rosfazillah

General Secretary: Syairah

Chairman of Publications & Communications : Shabrina

EX-Deputy who alreadi went to RP : Imran

Somemone missing!!! Its natasha,ex-Deputy...

And of course, its me...

Linus & Hisyam is not there...Well, they are the chairman & ex- Deputy of CCA..

The Princess Lyfe....

My lyfe??Are u referring to mine??!!!hehe...Well, I'm alrite...As usual, working brings my life back to being a shopaholic....So many things happen...Though i apologise sum things wasn't stated here,well i manage to get back on track...I'm thinking of taking a marityme offshore course though its risky...well,u noe me...I'm up to the challenge...Baby too planned to take tat..I just cut my freaking long hair...its damaged...Finally,after thinking,i agreed.Though its upset to cut...but, watever it takes to get my original hair...I wanna grow my hair long till my back and dye it dark blonde someday and finally perm it wit big curls...So,waiting for tat moment..

Well, my life??Atok has passed away u noe...I'm still upset...But,i hope he reunites wit Arwah nenek over there...Mum dreamt of Atok 2 times..And each dream has a meaning...my mum's siblings???All attitude change...it gets worst wen atok is no more there..

ouh btw,Mom's werkplace factory is shutting down soon..I'm worried, i hope everything gonna be fine...Baby has stop working at Soht & Bayy..I dun like the job bcoz he deals wit wine n its haram especially the salary he got,even though he dun drink..gud thing, once i dun like it, it turns out tat soht & Bayy was closed down bcoz of bankrupt and baby's now working at Mcafe...

Well, while werking, of course i miss school but its a fact i hev to accept..Ite is over...

Me & Hym?? Baby & I alwaes quarrel at times...But,both are patient....We dunwan to end our r/s like tat..Though its hurtful putting up wit hys attitude, i have to...Sumtimes i just cry...He's so busy wit work.Me??I'm working but i can commit to almost most of the things...Sometimes, honestly i wanna give up but i dun wanna ruin my lovestory book...and he said tat as well...

Remember Aideel??the guy i used to contact??The guy who i once had dreams wit?? yea, he left me stranded for 1 year...He messed up my lyfe bcoz when i try to contact other guys,no one was like hym and i cudn't bring myself to contact them longer..In the end, I gave up and i let love search for me..tat was when Baby came back into my lyfe after 6 months he was like a stranger to me...Now, Aideel came back after 1 year & is my fren at FB...

I'm not leaving Baby no matter how he sux at times...Aideel is my past...My future is baby..There's no way tat i want to leave hym...I told Baby bout it...And i'm glad he says no matter wat, he's not gonna let me go...

He wants to live wit me..He wants to marry me and start a family...Tats wat we alwaes tink and we wanted to make it cum true one day..tats bout 8 or 9 years more to go??We want to earn alot of $$$$ and live happily with a well-organised family...Tats y we dun wanna part....Make Our Dreamhouse come true...

ouh yeah, Baby And I went to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS....We both wore Black...I wore hot pants??Sorie,did i say correctly??haha...well, its not tat i change...Baby said wow,how cum u wear hotpants??and i said, I make random decisions...I have split personality so i change when i want to and when i nid to...Just tat u see me simple most of the tyme.. We had real fun...We came in late and its like onli 4 hours left to play everything...So, we promise to cum back again & bring a camera!! Baby said its the first tyme he took a roller coaster...I enjoy teaching hym adventurous stuff...We saw Aunty Jo as well wit hys son and his husband...They are a loving family...She's cuming back to teach at Ite CCk in April...haix,we alreadi graduate...she's a gud teacher,she spends alot of money on us...Hope god repay her kindness...

and yea, Baby and I took the Luge & Skyride!!!...He was so afraid of heights...haha...he said his balls at throat sia...hehe...I wan hym to be adventurous like me..try many diffrent things...We bought the skyride photo as well..=))...Our one year is cuming in 12 April...Wow,tats fast..Lets last long...Aniwae,time for Pictures!!!

Charlie Chaplin...=)

How's my new hair??Nicee??

Lion ROAR!!!! And he insist on carrying my bag..

Tats Aunty JO!!!

u noe me n tis castle...we got sum link over there..yea, of course!! u noe how much i love fairytale!!!

I feel I'm tall...hahahhaha!!!

Dreaming the car is his..

and finally, its me again..We are cuming back here..=))

well,wat shud i gave to baby on our anniversary??hmm...

To Love is not an easy task...You have lots of things cuming with it...But, a good thing none of us reali wanted a break up...none of us reali initiate it...Being wit hym,is an obstacle i have to overcome & be patient...He's glad tat the did most of the first tyme thing wit me...

I am his first pillion...

The first couple ring,first couple necklace,

skyride,roller coaster...

to Sentosa, Jurong bird park,Universal studios,

so much things...

He is hooked to playing bowling..Whereas me,I love playing pool..

He said he's glad i'm the first gerl he met tat never wanna give in my virginity to any guy,not even hym although we wanted to marry one day...Ouh yeah,u guys shud hear the together song by ne yo...Whether its a longtyme or new song,ne yo is a sweet singer...Baby let me hear tat,dedicated for me..=))

I watch Red Riding Hood wit hym tat dae...It was real nice movie...He wanted to watch it so much...

Tat Little Red Riding Hood alwaes dream of living faraway with his love happily...

In the end,It came true..

Will I ever get that to come true in my lyfe??Or will there be someone tat snatches our love away??

*Everytyme You Kisses & Hugs Me,

I felt a little fear...

A fear That One Dae I might never feel tat again...

Happy 9th Monthsary Prince Ayie

2011-01-13T01:17:00.000+08:00

School......

Well, school's like stressed ryte now especially wen we are graduating soon..Many things running up on the list.
Aniwae,our event just ended.Tiring.Although we received the reply late but we ended first. Though Pioneer Sec like one kind of ****, We manage to end everything..Haix...Preparations for the event just take 2 daes with lack of sleep. Aniwae, its tyme to prepare our report and presentation.haix..
But,first,we have PIC, PBL 3 to settle.And now,my Cinta is thrown into our group.So,we accepted hym coz my group do every PBL together until it ends unlike his group.So,we kinda pity hym..

AOFA??Hmm,have to be submitted on 12 january but it is being extended.Lucky,i have done it..Left to submit it in hard copy.

I'm reali stressed up actuali..i'm the leader of these 2 groups..Sumtimes u just hev to stand wit members being laid back..and constantly reminding them on their tasks...I get so pissed off tat dae tat i came waking them up their senses.I mean you dun get to choose wat u want in business life..
if u wanna fail,u fail alone..Dun drag other people in it..You noe its werk..you can never bring friendship in...

ML....

Wat shud i say to u gerls??everybody is busy...especially with werk...ayn and me are schooling..its our 2nd year before we graduate...so,i hope u understand the situation...Dun fite and quarrel...We shall plan another outing soon but in ADVANCE...if u can't go,then tell earlier,dun say it last minute and get everybody speechless..

For countdown tat dae, i guess, i apologise.....if clubbing is where u wanna go,then i'm sorie,i can't bcoz its not fair to IRA..she's still underage and i dun tink its fair if we leave her..unless if she has other plans then i understand.but now,she wants to go,its just that she can't..So maybe,next tyme wen she's 18..we all shall go together again...

To Ira,Dun be disappointed or upset..We alwaes be where we are..We can alwaes msg or beep one another anytime...I miss you people but first,i hev to get rid of my studies to Poly first..hope i get to poly...So, anitink we, "HELO,HELO!!!"...*wink...have fun..

Love & Life....

Ouh...Life sucks..Alwaes for me..never been nice..Oni wen i die...i seldom tok to my elder sis now..Irritated and disgusted by her attitude...Not responsible at all..Alwaes trouble my mum...Mum has to pay so much bills..Werk??Sentosa has called me for 2 times and its alwaes not the ryte tyme for training..December dier tk kol aku..siak tol..da nk event dier kol plak..Wat wud i sae bout my life ryte now??Well, I'm starting to teach sumone tuition on some Indonesia language and malay language in February...Wat else tat i miss out??

ouh,Marimar Drama has finally ended..Tat drama is just like me and baby..
Its bout a guy name Sergio who broke up wit hys gerlfren.His gerlfren married Sergio's father.Sergio was reali disappointed bcoz his gerlfren left hym.
Then,one dae he met a gerl name marimar..She oni lives wit a grandma and grandpa who take care of her since small and she can't read or write bcoz she did not go to sch.she's clumsy,poor,she dunno lot bout love and life and alwaes been fooled..but,one thing tat makes hym stick to her as fren is becoz she makes hym laugh alot..then,marimar fell in love wit Sergio but was unsure whether Sergio has feelings for her or not.
there was a part where Sergio got reali mad wit his ex gerlfren,Angelica,tat he decided to marry marimar and make her jealous..but,little did marimar noe Sergio marry her bcoz on rebound stage and its wasn't legally or officially.

After they were married,marimar was pregnant and their family have financial problems.Sergio told marimar he have to go for racing to earn money and have to leave her without knowing tat angelica is jealous and evil towards marimar.marimar cried wen he left her during her pregnancy.After tat,Marimar suffered alot by Angelica who treated her.Angelica killed her grandpa and her grandma and burnt her house near the beach.Angelica told her Sergio did not love her and just wanted to fool her.She nearly died bcoz Angelica wants her dead.
At the same tyme,Sergio miss marimar alot.Her love for her grew stronger each dae by dae especially wen she's having her daughter..Sergio did not manage to cum back.He started a car business.

Meanwhile,marimar is saved bcoz Angelica shot at her chest and the bullet hit her jade.Marimar ran away after tat bcoz was afraid of angelica tat mite find her.She changed her name to Bella and werk as a servant after she gave birth.She wanted to start a new life and is afraid anyone mite noe her.She werk for a veri rich person name Gustavo.he had a wife who died and lost his daughter name marimar.While werking wit MR Gustavo,One dae she went out wit Gustavo sister,Tante Asparanza,she saw sergio several times and ignored hym.Sergio chased her till she went away wit Gustavo car.When she went home,the aunty asked her why did u ignored the guy??who is he??And why did he called you marimar??Marimar made an xcuse tat,tat guy mistook her..the aunty didn't believe it and noe tat she is marimar..She forced marimar to admit.marimar then cried so much and admit she is marimar,she did not wanna said it bcoz if she does,they won't trust her as their family are veri rich...Furthermore,She just recalled her memory.

When she was small,She went to a vacation wit her family.the plane crashes and she fell onto an island.her mother died and her father survives.
Soon after tat,MR gustavo aldama got to noe tat marimar is his daughter.But,unfortunately he died.Marimar made a vow tat she will study hard and take over the family's company.The aunty take gud care of marimar and told her she sending her to overseas for study wit her daughter,cruzita.

After years,out came a Rich, sexy,independent and confident woman from a car.With her 5 yr old daughter.Her hair from curly,to a strait and shoulder length.Marimar aldama changed as BELLA ALDAMA...She came back for her company and most importantly to take revenge on Angelica.

then,one dae,she went to a party theme MASQUERADE...She wore all white and a white mask.There,they announce her as the new boss of the aldama company..Sergio was invited to that party.the moment she takes off her mask,sergio was surprised and shouted marimar.He went up to her n requested to dance with her.She accepted reluctantly.She denied and said u got the wrong person.he kissed her on the ball ground and she ran to toilet.She cried,hated sergio for leaving her with the sufferings.Sergio went back home and thought to hymself,He recognise her lips,her smile and cried bcoz he missed his wife alot...meanwhile,Angelica starts appearing at Aldama's hotel.

In the next update,i will put their pics...Marimar has small lips like me..hahah!! and amazingly,both of them are Leos..Marimar on 12 August and Sergio on 2 Aug...

*To be continued....

Hatred grew in me bcoz of you...sumtimes i get so angry tat i dunno wat to do..to kip it,hatred grew..to let it out,it will still be the same...You wudn't wake up early to skool,how are you going to wake up to werk in future to feed ur family??
Care so much about you tat i forgot to care bout myself at times..I hurt you with my sarcastic werds sumtimes n tats becoz you hurt me too..So,if the next tyme,you got hurt by my werds,just remember tat u hev just hurt me wit either ur reactions,attitude or werds to hev cause me to say some harsh werds.
Though u gave me attitude problems and put me in a spot sumtimes,I'm still patient..Honestly I'm tired wit ur attitude but as long as i have some faith in me, i will stay patient. I guess i wasted so much tears for you alreadi..

* No matter how hurtful you can be,
I still love you...
But,you must noe tat i dun wanna regret my lyfe one dae like how mum regrets with her life..
Hepi 9th Monthsary Baby...

PS: I can't put pics bcoz the computer facing problem currently.Sorry!!

I never thought I would fall in love with him...

2010-11-28T01:19:00.001+08:00

I Apologise to My Readers out there....Sorie for not updating my blog for quite some time..Isit too long??LOLS!!! Still have the guts to ask eh?? Okay, This is specially to NASZIRA BTE YUSOF A.K.A IRA!!!! She requested for me to update...

SCHOOL....

Hmm...School?Wat bout that? Well,After my Gpa point dropped,i'm now so much worried..I reali hope i can increase my GPA...My PRJ projects,i'm left to worry bout my sponsorships and fund rasing event onli...Hmm,Bout my OFA,Well i still gonna try to improve my Input Mask and my validation rule & text..My PIC..So far,going well..We do reali have teamwork..
well,Few more months and we will graduate...Then,i can highlite my hair!!! Hooray!!!LOLS!!
Hope Baby can go Poly so tat he won't hev to go Ns first..

Hmm Sc??yesterdae was Investiture!!! Well, One burden is off the shoulder...We hev finally passed out...But, i reali treasure those memories where we spent tyme wit each other in Clementi...Staying back late,doin deco,having events,dancing,too much memories...I missed them..And i really appreciate the frens i made with...I hope the new batch of leaders wud continue to strive and maintain SC...being an Emcee teaches me alot of things...And now,i'm used to reading scripts..It was mt last time being an Emcee as well at Ite college West..I hope i wud continue my chance to be an emcee in the future as well...

Miss Joyce getting so nervous about the whole routine..

WHITE!!!! hahah!!! With the THEME " MAGICAL FANTASY"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My days as House Chairman..=")

May the memories will alwaes be remembered..You people were nice people to werk with..Tanx..

I'm reali proud to be a student council & Ite student though sumtimes i felt demoralised..
One thing for sure,if i were to go to poly..I sure gonna wear my Ite shirt on the first day....hehe...
Still hoping i wud get 4 pointer Gpa tis term so tat my cumulative Gpa wud reach 3 & above..Pray hard for me...

And i'm veri hepi, i retake my napfa again..My first timing was 18.13 without much training..But,bcoz my SW teacher criticise me as WEAK, i stood up and retake my napfa..Tis tyme round i got 14.55...And i'm so glad,i got Gold for napfa..I'm motivating Baby to pass his napfa..I hope he can do better..he sure can!!

Outing to Kite Flying!!!!

Well,Tat dae..i dun remember when but we went out to kite flying at West Coast..there was Joey,Nurman,Lina,Farhan And Prince...We had fun trying to fly the kite and we compete on who's the highest..Our kites get entangled and we enjoy seeing our kite fly as high as the last string wud hold..As i fly the kite,i wonder Our life are like the kites..Sumtimes it high n sumtimes it low..And at times we do fall but wat is important we stood up to fly it again...Had great time and we took pictures!!

Before tat outing, We went to swiming at Jurong Swimming Complex!!!=)) Thanks people,I had fun!!!

M.L....

Oraite...We actuali planned to go to Botanic garden but we cancelled it at the very last min..So,we just hangout at Town together..Sadly some didn't turn up..You noe the strength is not alwaes full..But, one thing you shud noe we are photo freak...HAHAHAHA!!!!

Outing to KARAOKE with

BABY's Cathay Frens!!!

Baby And I went to karaoke wit his frens tat dae..I dun remember wen was it too..hahah,Too long i didn't update my blog i tink..Aniwae, Had an awesome tyme with them..They are quite funny people..And they are reali nice people though i feel abit shy with them..Heheh..So,let the pictures do the talking i guess...

LIFE..... Love....

Well,been so busy with Projects at school..So many things to worry..Failed my Internal Evaluation tat tyme...

Gonna take it again..But, i dunno wen...haix...Aisah,aisah..Plzla for gudness sake pass faster...

Aniwae,Bro sent me a letter..replying to wat i sent to hym..he asked if i got any pretty frens to recommend...hahahah!! Lina volunteer out..LOLS!!!

Aniwae,Now wat troubles my mind the most is to score all my modules A for this term..Not competing wit anyone but importantly to go poly and get my course..

God,i reali hope i can make it..i want tat course badly..Aniwae, I fought wit my elder sis..Till now,we didn't tok to each other..I dun feel like..hate her to the core man!!Fucking asshole...

Ouh About Ncc, I'm holding it for awhile...Too Busy with school...Sorie peeps..I hope you people understand..

Aniwae,Tis is random but many people may not noe bout tis...So, i reblog it from Izyan.blogspot.com...

Monday, November 15, 2010

BerTUNANG tanpa disedari...

Berhati-hati dalam menyebarkan notes dan menulis notes lagi2 yang melibatkan hukum syariah, sila pastikan ada Dalil Al-Quran dan Hadith sebelum mempercayai sesuatu hukum..sila rujuk Para Ulama' sebelum menjatuhkan hukuman...saya dapat notes ini dari facebook..

Percaya atau x, kita boleh ber”tunang” tanpa sedar?? Yup, kita boleh bertunang tanpa kita sedar, bila seorang lelaki, berhasrat untuk mengambil seorang perempuan untuk dijadikan isteri. Eh, itu memang normal bukan? Tapi, yang anda mungkin x tahu, anda sebenarnya sudah bertunang bila situasi seperti berikut berlaku:

Lelaki menyatakan hasrat ingin menjadikan perempuan itu isterinya, dan perempuan itu bersetuju. Adakah dikira telah bertunang? Padahal tidak ada ibu bapa perempuan tersebut.

Pinang dari segi hukum fiqah, bererti pihak lelaki menyatakan hasrat berkahwin pada pihak perempuan. Itu dipanggil pinang. Bila perempuan menjawab setuju, maka jadilah perempuan itu tunang laki tersebut.

Situasi yang dianggap pinangan:

"Aku nak jadikan kamu sebagai isteriku"

"Kahwinlah dengan kita bila2"

Bila si perempuan bersetuju, dia akan jadi tunang. Sama ada bercakap dalam telefon, tetap dah jadi tunang.

Contoh:

"lelaki sebut dalam telefon, "I nak jadikan u isteri I lah"

Perempuan tersebut jawab, I sukalah, I setujulah, oraitt I’m fine, oklah, I redha atau apa2 yang menunjukkan dia suka dengan “pinangan” lelaki tersebut, maka ia sudah dianggap bertunang.

Jadi, bila dia dah jadi tunang orang tanpa sedar, bila ada lelaki yang meminang, hukumnya haram.

Kita orang melayu time nak tunang duk bawang rombongan 1 bas, bawak barang2 pinangan, itu sebenarnya adalah ADAT bukan dari segi hukum Islam. Dari segi hukum Islam, dah jatuh hukum tunang.

Persoalan ialah bila Ibu bapa xde. Mengikut hukum syarak, kalau perempuan itu sudah diizin pada syarak. Sebagai contoh, perempuan yang cerdik, yang baligh, yang blh berfikir, etc dia sudah dianggap bertunang.

Bila perempuan tu x menepati hukum syarak tersebut, contoh seperti x baligh lagi(baru darjah 3 mungkin), perempuan tu bodoh(x boleh berfikir), gila, dan sebagainya, makanya wali diperlukan untuk jawab “pinangan” tersebut.

ini adalah summary daripada cermah Ustaz Azhar Idrus..siapakah beliau??boleh rujuk di official website beliau...

PS :S o,Baby...You da tkle kahwin ngn org laen da...hahahaha!!! LOLS!!!

Aniwae, Bout baby and I...We do fite sumtimes...We scold bad werds to each other in Msg..But,we can't wen we fite face to face..Funny isn't it...Well,we do hev heart ,we do hev feelings..often wen we dun like wat another do,we tend to tell it straitforward..At least,tats better we got to noe wat one another face tru...Baby is so busy werking n sumtimes i feel left out and upset...But, i understand he nids to find money for his bills..Ouh yea...mama noe bout us..We went out together too tat dae...

You noe wat its the first tyme i went out of Singapore with hym to JB...Just both of us..We went there to collect my White dress. We reali had fun laughing like hell..Yalarh,with hym making me as a fool..-_-....Aniwae, he's honest with me now but i still tink sumtimes he dun...And i'm not sure wat it is...Aniwae, he told me if he dun mit me,maybe ryte now he's still with his bad ways..

he said he realise whenever he hides sumting or go against wat i told hym to do,mishaps strikes hym..May allah alwaes protects hym...

One ting for sure, I still waiting for hym to stop smoking..i hope one dae he will...And i reali hope he eats vegetables and fruits...I'm afraid he will be like faz...her hand was swollen...Doctor said its bcoz of too much White blood...i hope she gets better..And I'm worried of hym too...

Aniwae, I wanted so much to but this freaking long coat just like Nicole or hermione's...I'm sure gonna werk hard for it if i get to werk in Dec...

The sentosa management called me and said they may put me in training in Dec under operations..I hope i get the job..Finally,i can get a job tat is not F& B at all..haish..Oh Allah,pls let me...

Bout Prince, I'm hepi with hym and we love each other so much..We still do miss each other just like how we used to..i still wonder how we get together wen we actuali were veru shy at first..its funny wen i remember the first tyme i bought for hym a cotton bag he wants me to. it was quite a long tyme after we reali sat with each other and tok..lina disturb us tat dae wen we wore the same uniform..I was like," lina,wat?Wat are u laughing at??-_-"...she said,"nolarh,just like funny..both of u wearing the same colour uniform..Then,i smiled..his face was like shy trying to talk to me in english..u noe we alwaes tok as Kau,Aku in malay wen we were frens..So,it was awkward...hahah!!!

Then,i remembered the first tyme we went out with Adelyn,Yong qin,hilmi etc at Cineleisure..he wanted to buy cigarette at 7 eleven..he asked me along..then,went we crossed road at traffic lite,randomly he just grab my hand and walk tru the crowd..hehe...

At least i'm glad the way he is ryte now..he sent me Poems u noe..Lols!! he also kept a box of stuffs from me..me too...And i get sumone so loving like hym...Though sumtimes i'm reali mad with his attitude...Grr...But,he noes how to win me back...he got tis sympathy face where he noes how to show it...-_-....Aniwae, He hev lots of memories with me and we are reaching for the 8th Monthsary...

I love how i alwaes cuddle with hym..The way he hugged me tightly with his warm embrace...

The way he can go crazy with me...

the way he can laugh so badly with me..

i love the way how he sacrifice sumtings for me..

Ouh yea, i cried wen he bought tiara and Necklace for me just to make me look better...

I love the way how he can get me wat i'm craving for sumtimes...

the way he surprise me..

The way how he get jealous wen i'm wit guys..hahah!!!

the way he get me smiling wen i'm upset..

and how he noes wat i'm feeling eventhough i hides it...

Best thing ever is he accepted me of who i am from the beginning.....

Its rare to find guys like tat nowadays..You noe you with No make up,withe Ugly expression, wen u get so mad,wen u cried so badly...All those tings tat u are at home..=))

Me:"Can we stay together for long Baby??"
Him : "Of course we can...=))"

And for as long as you love me, I will onli love you...

Thank you so much for sweet memories with you...
Thanks for making my lyfe complete....

A Prince in Disguise...

A Princess In Disguise....

They met
&
It became....
A Chachayie fairytale...

I'm looking for Love not Men....

2010-10-03T15:06:00.002+08:00

Someone says My BLOG IS DEAD!!!!

But,actually I'm Busy...

So,Tiz blog is for ROHANI BINTE SANI!!!!! a.k.a Ayn....

NCC....

Well, On 6 Sept, I had to book in for SENIOR SPEC COURSE...Great Fun i had wit new cadets & also wit the people i mix with during the nyte...For 4 daes in there,reali make me miz baby so much..Especially wen I cudn't bring in my CAMERA HP...I cudn't see the pics i took wit baby..I'm onli left wit baby's face photo in purse..how i miz hym..I let baby use my fone coz he said he wants to hear all my songs...ntah btol ke tak baby nie??Lagu aku sume byk lagu melayu...

At the end of SENIOR SPEC COURSE,I told the same things i alwaes tell out to my cadets..Funny,SM got to noe that I'm Umairah's sister.He laughed And said,"U, umairah's sister?Haha!! Why she talks alot,you veri quiet? I laughed,In my heart,"haha!! U still dunno how i am..I laughed wit ppl i noe onli.."

RAYA's EVE!!!

Back from camp,went to Baby's house,collect hp so tat i can hear it qtw back to TAMP...

SWEET BABY, Wrote 3 LONG SWEET MSGES in my draft on how he missed me so much during the 3 daes & felt lonely despite his frens were there...Bought Contact Lens after tat,Helped mama wit Last preparations...Headed to geylang at 1AM in the morning wit baby & my gerlz...

TIS year's outfit, BABY & I WORE PINK!!!! Both of our family too...hehe..My frens & relatives all comment I look sweeter * girlish in Pink...LOLS!!

EXAMS!!!!

Few daes after raya,We actuali needed to prepare for our exams..So,i didn't go out from 11sept to 15 Sept just for exams..EOP paper was kinda easy..POM was crucial,I didn't sleep at all...I was scared i cannot ans the paper...I prayed alot...I went out of house,salam mama n said," ma,doakn aisah eh ma,aisah bole jawab soalan dengan senang n btol.."..I was on the verge of tears..Went out of house a bit late,ran across the road,i nearly got knocked down by a bus..It honks so loudly..All i pray was for my grades to touch 3 & above..Now,I'm at 2.9 pt of GPA..
Though,i quarrel wit baby tat dae,I prayed baby get to go to Poly so tat he can defer his NS..Let hym go to NS wit Diploma..At least,he can get to Leftenan Rank..I wan hym to get ARMY so badly...hehe...Oh Allah,PLZ help us..

Btw,Watch LAGenDA BuDak SEtaN few daes before exams..It was great & sad..So,i told baby to watch it..It was touching..Farid Kamil & Lisa Are Real couple outside..:))Baby actuali download the song to hear it in his MP3 as well as my HP...u noe i juz love watching them acting together in most movies..;))

Raya Wit Pri Skool Mates!!!

On 16 sept,Went Raya wit my Pri mates..Rent a van n it was reali fun..Got to go to many house,wow!!Collect $50 dlm 1 hari..Puzzled,Da besar gini pon dpt duit raya eh...lols!! Suhaily & suzaimi,e twins cudn't recognise me..Maybe I look so much diff. wen in pri skool..Biase larh,tomboykn..lols!!Fadilah roslan house was the last,we hang out n watch INCREDIBLE TALES..Then,she set us home using her car..AWESOME TIME!!!!
PHOTOS ARE AT FACEBOOK>...LAZY TO PUT UP HERE>>>>I WORE WHITE!!! LIKE PONTIANAK!!!lols!!!

NCC DINNER......

I wore dress to Ncc Dinner at ORCHID COUNTRY CLUB...Everybody was shocked over there..They were all looking at me wondering who am I...After i acknowledge them,then they recognise me..lols!!At Ncc,I was like a guy,over there i look elegant & girlish..Encik Mathy said i look different..haha!! aniwae,had fun wit them too..Took pics wit all of them.Most fun,Anthony came..He's obviously close wit me..Baby was a bit disturbed wen he saw me taking pics wit Anthony so close..I told hym ncc is a mixture of so many guys n little gerls..before i was wit hym,they are where i spend my time wit..tat explains how close i'm wit them..But,sure,u noe i love hym so much..The FINE DINING WAS AWESOME!!!!

The toilet over there was beautiful...

'E' FOR EAST!!!!!!!

Raya Wit ITE MATES!!!!

On 18 Sept,Baby & I wore Pink!!!!!Farhan,Lina,Faz,Hilmi,Zura & matin tag along..The raya shoes Ms Joei bought for me was with high heels,reali aches my feet..Baby was so sweet n gentle tat he wanted to carry me,,He carried my handbag..I wanted to carry it but he insist he wants to carry it..At Lina's house,Everybody start joking and laughing..His father joined us..So many funny reactions we see...Like faz wit the werd,"MU U KU"...Pelat R!!! Azura who kissed the air wen her intention was actuali wanted to kiz matin...lols!!!

On 20th Sept, We went raya again but onli me,baby,An n aishah...We wore Black!! Aishah have the same attitude as mine..Both of us dun like guys smoke & we reali2 hope sumdae they will turn to their senses n stop smoking..We prayed tat so much..

THE AISHAH's!!!!!!!!!

F1....

Well,Baby & I work for F1...Haha!! I was an IC for the Paddock Ushering whereas baby was under Fyan for Traffic Marshall..We got to watch F1 together..Fun isn't it? Didn't hev to fork out money instead we earn alot of money..haha!! U noe my all time favourite racer is definitely LEWIS HAMILTON...U noe tat since my bro was wit me..How i wish i cud be a racer one dae...hmm...niceeee!!! I like challenging things!!!Oh yea,challenge wit baby the daytona go kart machine...baby lose to me!!!! lols!! ala,kereta je..Motor blom tentu agi..hahah!!

It was tiring werking but it was worth it afterall..Next year,we shall try out again..fun getting praises from the guests!! Aniwae,PETER and PAUL said GUD JOB!!!!;))

SC CAMP!!!!

After F1, i Had to go Sc camp..I had to be a facilitator of PINK TEAM!! We did logo..We oso did presentation of Event Planning..Our grpname was PINK PANTHER!!! I juz love how my juniors plan for their presentation nyte of performance..CUTE!!Everybody notice my Pink things!!Toothbrush,toothpaste,Perfume,Towel,My 2 small pouch bags,Hp cover,Hp,raya outfit,highlighter,even my grp flag..The guy at sc said,"finally u hev become a gerl noe.."..I was like,"hey,Pink isn't for gerls onli okae!!"...Believe it or not baby love pink noe bcox i love pink..Cute kn??lols!! He said,watever my gerl loves,i muz try to love it too..

Aniwae,Baby crept in to camp at nyte n join us..Funny,it was tiring n full of suspense..I almost cry if he got caught..Importantly,I'm relieved he's saved..Bcoz he climb over the ledge n risked hys life..Everything was juz bcoz he missed me so much n wanted to spend tyme..Baby laughed n asked me not to worie.."Tis is the first tyme i did tis kind of thing being wit you.."Memories all over...;))

Me & elisha at SC CAMP...

Me holding Butter in A cup..Butterup!!! haha!!! The partners who took charge of all the food barbequed...:))

Tis 6 people are those juniors from Pink Team...
From first, IRFAN, FARUQ,SHY,JQ,MAISARAH,ADAM....

Pink Panther!!!! lawakn??Tgk uh sape nyer dok!!! Lols!!!

M.L Gerlz PIT!!!

The pit was awesome!! Baby n Hisyam came down..Got to noe my frens n became frens..We all joke alot..Huda n Dee Plus Syam drank..The smell was aweful!!!Aniwae, I slept overnite at Bby house n cooked AYAM MASAK KICAP..Ton wit Bby at CHANGI was special..Finally,there's sumone who can replace the memories of me & aideel ...tats wat i wanted the most..Its not been erased but put away..He made me leave a mark in my mind tat he was special enuf for me..Most importantly,he created new memoriez for us..Not forgetting my RAYA WIT M.L GERLS!!!!

oh yeah, I went to Grandlink karaoke wit ira n ayn..baby tag along too..There he is behind me...Lols!!

Tanx alot gerls...It was great n i hope baby enjoy it mixing wit my frenz...:))

LIFE..........................

Well, EXAMS OF 2nd LAST SEMESTER has finished!!! Left to get results!!!For the tyme being,I shud continue wit Bike lessons...hehe!!Btw,Abg sound mama to ask me to send letters to hym..How touched..I said ok,i'll send..Well, so many things happen for tis 1 Month i didn't update..Gosh!!

Many ppl said i & baby look swit but we face alot of hurdles actuali..Its difficult at times to pull tru...haix...Baby learnt alot of patience too...

I told baby our half a year anniversary is cuming...he said he waited for tat..Too much memories he had with me..So many things he's done for the first tyme wit me..It means alot to hym..Me too but there is one particlar thing u didn't do it wit me for the first tyme n will never be..Onli he noes it well...The most precious thing ever...Its okae,i accepted it wit open n sincere heart..:"))

OLD WOMAN STORY....

You noe baby n I saw tis woman at Changi Bus Interchange..She asked me whether i got 2 dollars to give her..I pitied,i gave her..She told us her sad story,mengadu naseb..I wanted to cry but i cudn't bcoz i was in tat posotion wen i was in pri sch..mama pernah mtk sedekah pt bwh blok nk beli susu mairah..I didn't go to sch bcoz i had no money no food..But,mama never trouble atok...n tats wat she teaches us to..No matter how susah u are,U dun try to borrow or use people money tat u dunno well..

I told baby if i were to hev children,i want my children to live the hard way not by luxury..I wan them to be like me.."org kalau senang,da biase senang,lau dier jatuh susah utk dier bgn semula..Mama taught me the difficult times eversince i was small..Like the old woman,she used to live in a 3 storey house..Biler anak2 dier da besar da keje bagos,all leave her..I dunwan my life to happen like tat.. n i want responsible husband tat can live wit me till we both die..

I send Baby lyrics n he's yet to find the melody to create a song..;))
Love you baby!!!

Dun kill ur memories...Dun erase them...Even if it hurts u now....
Bcoz those memories once make you smile...:))

*Give her two red roses, each with a note.

The first note says For the woman I love

and the second, For my best friend...

The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world

is a woman's heart.

Someone Asked me:

So, "WHY DO U Love Him SO MUCH?"

But Before I could Even Reply;

My Best Friend puT her hand Over My Mouth And Said:

"DON'T EVEN GET HER STARTED..." lols!!!

*A beauty is a woman you notice;

A charmer is one who notices you.

It is what happens when

two criminals stole each other's heart...

A Troublemaker meets a Heartbreaker...

Be bold for wat u stand for & Be careful on wat u fall for...

2010-08-29T06:53:00.003+08:00

Skool....

Guess tis is alwaes the boring part..Well, all i can sae is STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! for my 2 modules; PRINCIPLES OF MARKETING & EVENT ORGANISATION PUBLICITY..

13 & 15 Sept!!!! 2nd LAST SEMESTER EXAM!!!

Mama's afraid i can't go to poly..I told her if i can't, I'm gg to take PART TIME DIPLOMA not PRIVATE eh..Its 2 diff. thing..

All it takes for me to go to UNIVERSITY...I wanna be an HR Professionals,Hr manager & maybe a part-tyme Psychologist not Psychiatrist eh...lols!!

Aniwae,Things between my clique at school has settled...Everything is as per normal...Well, Muz complete EOP report by MON!!!

Dance, SC, NCC....

I miz dancing actuali...especially wit Suffy...Haix..Syairah too...Hmm...too bad studies ruin everything, but not my future..hmmph!!

SC??We are stepping down frm Sc tis Oct/Nov i tink. The new excos will take charge wich are frm April intake..I hope they maintain Clementi Good Image...:)

NCC?? hmm...MIZZZZZZZZZZZ ALOTTTTT!!!!! I'm gg to SENIOR SPEC COURSE...ZQ needed me to be 1 of the trainer...I wan sis to get best cadet IF POSSIBLE...But,if u are knowledgeable in mutual drills n IFC,its no use without Ur confidence..Mairah told me 1 of the CLTs likes to scold..Its a new CLT so i nid to go dere n guide her..She once came up to me saying she wanna be my understudy..She can't juz misuse her authority juz like tat...

M.L.....

My best part of all!! Haha!! Well, we went to broke fast on 20th Aug tat dae..Ayn treat us & i swear not a single cent i fork out...hahaha!! Bestkn?? Tanx Ayn!! Love u so much!!! Muachss!!

It was Awesome!!!

Everyone dressed well..We went to eat at ZAM ZAM at Arab St..Ordered so much food..Ayn's sister & brother in law joined us..They cudn't recognise me bcoz of my hairstyle..The brother in law said i look like NURAINI..Ishk apeee jee!!!lols!!*BLUSHING...Leo mah,Peranakan oso mah...hehe...

After tat, they didn't follow us.We went to Sheesha!! Great!! Every1 Storytelling..Ika pkcik bout her relationship..Ayn told me bout her," AHOY"..werd baru nmpk??lols!! Talked bout Shazwin, Work,GUYS, Past Shipment...haha!! Talked bout KIAMAT too...Ordered BIG SPRING CHICKEN n WEDGES..Everything..*SNAP FINGERS...Ayn pay...LOLS!!!! Sadly, Mak Janda cudn't cum join us( HUDA)...lols!!!

Why isit so difficult to get all Full Strength turn up??haix..The fun part was We acting as SIBLINGS while eating...Ika pkcik as KAK LONG, Ayn as AKAK, Simah as AKAK SIMAH, Me as ADEK Manje, Ika Bk as Adek Nurul, Ira as ADEK BUSU...Guess who's our mum?? DIANA!!!!!

haha!! tularh tempat kiter menumpang kasih kn...hahahah!!!

And You noe wat??Sheikh Haikel came to our grp of gerls...Mcm kiter paling GORGEOUS pat situ kn...heheh...He asked us to help take pic wit the minister.I replied,"Ouh sure!! No problem!!"...He replied,"Oh Fantastic! Thank you my dear lovely gerl!! So,we took wit the minister..Its like he's the onli guy, surrounded by 7 Gerls, WOW!!! lols!!

Candid!!!

Well,Overall before i end, I msged my gerls few daes before outing stating i'm grateful to hev them by my side..Though i myte be busy wit Prince n Prince is like a stranger to them, they didn't sae aniting...I realised they accepted me the way i am...Though i left them n seldom hang out,they was hepi bcoz they noe i'm hepi wit Prince..The way they feel is different..I agreed,maybe bcoz i did taught them wen sum came up to me saying they dun like tis person attitude..Obviously,everyone Bitch about everyone..But, one thing each tyme they came up to me, i wud sae," dalarh tkpe,kau phm2 jelarh ngn prangai dier..No matter how bad she is,She is still our fren,You still hev to accept her"...Perhaps,Ira heard it frm me alot of times..haha!!.

Wen ira left wit Faisal,everyone was quite mad,Bitch behind bcoz she stood up alot of times..Not saying juz her,Everyone ever did tat too..But,wen she came down, Everyone still treated her nicely n i swear there was no acting hypocrite..

Ayn too, went away wit amer n left me alone..I was single tat tyme..Though like tat,everytyme she has prob wit amer,she wud find me..And sure,I was mad wen Amer n faisal treated my frens badly..There was one tyme i quarrel n said tat if ever i see his face outside,i wud punched hym bcoz he treated them like shit..But,tat was in the past..We accepted her wholeheartedly wen she came back...

Huda too..Wan used to not like Huda mixing wit us..Worst,She left us most of the tyme but she came back after they broke up n we all are still here for her..Everyone was so worried wen huda got into tis one shit trouble at MUSTAFA..We all care..We talked straitforwardly to the face but we didn't mean it...

Tanx alot Gerls...Tanx, I guess tats the most important criteria in our group..Its seldom for me to sae tis but I LOVE YOU GERLS ALOT...

1 Fren replied my msg; "Hee..mulot kiter jahat je tapi u noe kiter gurau je..haha!!U alwaes hev us,We are ur childhood frens..

Another fren replied tis;" Relex kay gerls,we gerls hev been together for so long n we noe each other veri well..I'll alwaes be there for you n i'm glad dat Ril cud actuali won ur heart..Dun stress urself,u hev enuf prob u see..ILY & IMY!!!

Then,A fren said; "The one tat noes you the best is ur childhood frens bcoz they are the ones tat sees the changes of you throughout the years"...

TO SENTOSA BEACH!!!!!

Well,Forgot to update...Tis happens wen Prince fall sick on tat dae n he cudn't join us to sentosa beach...Well, not much to update except tat we hangout there,Eat n Talk cock session..;))

Well!!! Tats it!!! ;))

Life....

Wat shud i sae?? Hmm... My RTT blum pass..mcm siak..blum amek lagi...haix..Now,bullshit,muz take defensive riding first..Haix...Wen i go for Theory 4 tat dae, simah tegur me tat ppl will noe if i'm an old timer student or not..For fuck!! I realised i use the 7th edition n they all used 8 th edition..walao!!rabak sia!! Lembab sak kau Aisah!! well,glad Ira said she taking bike oso wen she reach 18...

Btw, i miz Bro so much!!!

Mama said," aku tgk gaya si admi tu dgr ckp kau tau sya...Kau tryla advise2 dier ckit.."..I replied," Yelarh, dier kn rapat ngn aisah..Haha!! I advise ppl well..Lols!!Tkla,aisah ckp logic pe,utk kebaikan dier jgk"..Then,mama said," dier nk blaja alek tu,dier mtk cert dier tau.."..I'm glad..I noe Abg well..If he werks,He finds a job tat gives hym gud salary..mama said,"mama tk kisah..admi pnah idop susah,jatoh pon dier bole bgn balek earn everything bck.."...I pray for the best..

About Kakak....

She selamat lahirkn anak laki alreadi..Haix,u noe wat mama said,"Lelaki lau puji tk pnah betol..Jgn suke percaye lau ikhlas cumer melainkn suami kau sendiri yg puji"..She taught me not to trust easily...

MAMA BEING RANDOM....

You noe wat?as i was sitting plannin my EOP yesterdae at 3 plus in the morning wit mama praying..

Mama suddenly said tis,

"kau nk tahu sumting tk?U noe wat??Dlm byk2 anak,mama notice sumting bout u...You hev never face real deep troubles in ur lyfe lyke ur sis n brother..Nk tahu asl??Idop kau berkat je..Kau tk ungkal,tk degil..Atok,Cik Ana, Cik Enab, Cik Liza sumer ckp,

"Com,anak kau aisah satu je yg lain dari yg lain.."

Kau amek brg sumer kau completekn..Skola kau completekn,motor kau nk completekn,ncc kau nk completekn...Nie bkn mama nk puji ke nk angkat kau, tapi sumer org ckp..

Atok can see ppl u noe..Even atok said u are diff frm ur siblings..

Cik Enab ckp," Bile aku tgk si aisah nie com,aku teringat Pidah..Bertangggungjawab,Rajin,Ingat

mase kecik2 dulu tolong berniaga mcm aisah jugak..Mcm gitula anak aku,pidah, smpaila skrg dier baru graduate University.."

kau mmg nakal,yelarh tkder anak yg perfect tapi kau tk pnah susahkn mama..Buat nakal pat skola dulu pon cikgu tk pnah kol mama..Ingat sya,kalau kiter kurangajar ngn org tua,idop kiter tkkn berkat pon..

Ingat pesan mama,kalau kau baek,kau akan bertemu ngn lelaki yg baek..Mudah-mudahan la laki yg dpt jage kau ngn baek...Tuhan gandingkn kiter dgn org yg samer nyer prangai ngn kiter..Lau kiter jahat gini,samerla pasangan kiter..Tgk kakak kau cukup..dua2 laki dier dpt,samer jgk ngn prangai dier,malaz..

Tgk mama,Mama bertanggungjawab jage krg smpai besar gini,mama dpt abah dulu pon,a veri responsible guy..I tell you TIPTOP condition..Sumer brg uma lengkap..Tkder pon yg kurang mase mama idop ngn abah..Mama no nid to ask money frm hym,He gave me more than enuf..For brg rumah,Brg Shopping mama...Sumernyer..."

I told mama," Bgosla ma...mama doakan aisah dpt laki yg baek,doakan yg terbaik utk idop aisah..=)"..

Btw,Went to Atok house tadi,buka.."ASSALAMUALAIKUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then,cik alan said," eh,nie mane satu adek,mane satu kakak nie..mairah cm kakak,aisah cm adek plak.."...

Then,mama said,"hahaha!! ah2,si aisah simple je..Dier jarang makeup,pkai lawa2 lau tk btol2.."..

Pidah tegur,Eh! Kurus eh kau!!Ape kau buat nie,aku bingit uh tk kurus2...Da kurus,tinggi plak,rmbut panjang plak tu.."... i replied," hahaha!!! skola jauh dari rumah,slalu alek lmbt..lau dulu skola pat depan mata,ari2 sey alek mkn jap..nie jauh..agipon stress..stress ngn byk benda...lols!!

After tat,everybody solat terawih including Cik Alan..Shocked,even Cik saidah,cik aim's wife pray..Except for Cik Enab's family n Umairah..

LAILATUL QADAR....

Mama said lailatul Qadar has start...

Sesungguhnye dunia akan menjadi sempit kerana sume malaikat trun ke bumi...Dlm mase begini la,antara 10 mlm ini, tkder sape yg tahu..mlm yg kelihatan ganjil,maka itulah saatnyer langit terbuka luas utk terima doamu...Mintakla ape yg kamu mahu,terutama skali Mohon maaf darinyer..maka sume dosa kamu yg silam akan diampunkn...Dlm 10 hari ini,Solatla diantara jam 12 mlm..jika,bernaseb baek mlm itu adelarh mlm lailatul qadar,maka malaikat akan terus mengambil doamu bawa ke atas...

Mama said to me.."remember wen abg juz got caught..every nyte i wud wake up to pray for hym to at least get away frm HUKUM GANTUNG..alhamdulilah,mungkin diterima doa mama...Rajinkn lah sembahyg doakn ape yg kau nk, nk pass ke, dpt suami yg baek ke,ape2 pon..pada 1 mlm lailatul qadar,kadang2 malaikat akan menyerupai seperti org dtg kat kiter.."

I replied,"eh mama nie,menyerupai eh...org dalarh slalu tk tido mlm dok pat lua hall mlm2..nvm,i wan to solat n doa..manela tahu naseb aisah baek, mlm yg aisah mtk tu malaikat ader..kalau la bole umpe,bestkn ma??hmm..."...lols!!As usual,wild imagination..haha!!

LOVE

Hmm...Baby??Daddy??Ayie??Hubby??...byk namer aku kne panggil dier...lols!! Well, i miz hym so much!!! Especially tis Ramadhan...You noe wat it reali teaches me patience..."Sesungguhnye kalau umat Islam betul2 mempelajari Nikmat dan kebaikkn yg ader di dlm Ramadhan ini,Maka mereka akan mtk Ramadhan utk Sepanjang tahun"...

Aniwae,as usual,there are Alot UPS & DOWNs in our relationship...Honestly,our relationship doesn't go as calm as the oceans...There are conflicts..And sumtyme,I do reali get frustrated wit hym wen we quarrel...In the end,i malas,i wud juz sae, okae, do wat u wan,dun bother..Sumtimes u nid a fren for a listening ear..If not,i tell u..i swear can go crazy coping wit everything..Unless,I wud sae if u hev alreadi live together,officially married la..Sure,You can't tell ur frens bout ur husband in tat 1 Roof..Haix...Insecurities have alwaes been there...*sigh

GUYZ MARRYING MORE WIVES....

I watched bout a Malay Drama...Then,i asked mama,"ma,zaman skrg niekn,laki lau kahwin 2 sumernyer sal Nafsu eh.."...

mama replied," drg pantang tgk pompan dahi licin,lawa ckit..tk bersyukur!Drg sumer lau nk kahwin pndai ckp sal Nabi tapi Nabi tu laen,kahwin psl kesian nk tolong,bini dier sumer janda xcept aisyah je anak dara..Dier pandai jage ati isteri2 dier..Aisyah merajok ckit,diam je dier tahu..Dier pujuk,sentiase syg bini dier.."haix..Nowadaes guys like shit..1 woman not enuf..pantang je nmpk pompan sexy ckit,lawa ckit...LUST!!Watever the world gonna be...haix...

Well,u noe Every Gerl has a dream...Wat A gerl wants...

Hev u ever dream of one dae living & marrying the one you love so much??Living juz the two of you??Ever dream of cooking in the kitchen n he came by hugging you from behind,helping to cook??Ever dream of cooking together in the kitchen??Ever dream of going out dating every weekend juz to spend tyme together??Ever dream of welcoming hym from werk daily??Dream of feeding each other??Cuddle wit hym for nytes??Ever dream of having children after you marry??Dream of little kids where you have fun taking care of them together?? Ever dream of having a family outing once a week n a couple one for both of u n hym once a week??Ever dream of having a hepi ending in your life?? ITS IMPOSSIBLE....But, its oso POSSIBLE...

DREAMS???Can it be a REALITY?

OR Forever You live in it??

U juz realise at tymes you wish a MIRACLE happen to fulfil ur Dreams though you noe it may never happen...

And you noe wat??

IF YOU can't handle my WORST; (Being clumsy,hot-tempered,sensitive,revengeful,lazy,naive,mean,jealous,naggy,possessive..)

Then,You dun deserve my best....

Bcoz my best is the moment when you turn the words over...

Last But not least,i juz wanna sae I miss Baby Alot tis ramadhan...

Wen u said u fall in love,u juz can't guess how it happens..

tats y its called Falling In Love bcoz u juz fall accidentally...

* I juz love falling in LOVE....

Baby, lets fall in Love all over again

as the first tyme how Strong our Love was..

Everything was as perfect as the

ChachAyie Fairytale...

May HE Accept My Apologies,My Repentance.....

2010-08-17T01:09:00.003+08:00

I'm down wit FEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorie for not updating...

Skool....

Wat shall i sae bout skool???well,many things have passed since i have not updated...

First of all, i finished my Lifeskills n handed it nicely and perfectly to Teacher...Sleepless nytes bcoz of tat...Well, u noe i dun like delaying the deadline..U noe i want m werk so badly to be perfect,most importantly to fulfil all the requirements and criteria for marks..Well,Faz and azura has yet to pass up their POM 2 & 3 and ETP 1,2 & 3....The deadline was alreadi over n u noe i hate tat...Try to contact faz,never replied..zura as well...I dunno why they avoid..Wat fuck,we are on the same team..Of course,i'm freaking worried..Well,next semester,i wanna be the leader for all the modules n i make sure the work is done rite on the dot of the deadline...Aniwae, EOP is over!!!! We did it after sleepless nytes....Everything juz nid 3 daes....juz 3 daes....Yeap,i agree my EOP grp are laid back ppl...But,we manage to make it success..If not,everything wud hev cocked up...Even Mr hirman has given up wit our grp.."IDC"...which stands u noe..."I DUN CARE"...Aniwae, now gotta get the report done by 30 August...EOP mock exam on 2nd Sept...EXAMS !!!!!Must study!!!! I wan to top the class again..the feeling is great,isn't it...haha....Yarh,but my intention is not bout competing wit anyone..I dun hev tyme for all tat crap...All i want is to bring up my freaking grades,at least of GPA 3 pt...I muz study...

M.L......

Well,i miz full strength of gathering....IKA BK, CAT, AZURA, IRA are busy werking...Ayn is on attachment..Everybody is so busy....haix....And btw, to zura,plz cum dwn for Chapter meeting...The gerlz hev been wanting to see you n get to noe you...Every fri, we hangout together but its not compulsory except for the first fri of the month,plz make urself free...U gerls can't attend any of meeting or outing, inform ANN...

BTW,OUTING on THIS FRI, 20 AUGUST 2010 ,...

We are breaking fast outside with Ayn treating us...YEah!!!! Like miracle like tat eh?hahahah!!!

aniwae,Plz try make urself free...After tat,we mite wan to go sheesha or karaoke...

EVERY SINGLE SOUL ARE TO MSG ANN TO INFORM WHETHER UR CUMING OR NOT...Plz conferm it to ANN by tiz THURSDAY..Tanx...

And camera PLZ!!!!!! ;))

Religious Tyme!!!!!!!

Actuali i'm abit upset bcoz my ustaz has gone..He's not teaching us animore due to sum problems..

we got a new ustaz n all of us aren't tat comfortable wit hym...He got no sense of humour, abit stern,his werds are harsh and he mostly speak english...I'm in the same class as my sister now eversince her ustazah n my ustaz gone...haix...I miz my previous ustaz..Maybe bcoz he's juz 23 yrs old,tats y he teaches us suitable to the teen age...His werds are so open n funny..He jokes wit us...He is a calm person...haix, upset...Niwae,the last of his message was," Sekarang nie awak sume da tahu psl hal nie,saye harap awak sumer tkla berhenti biler ader ustaz yang aru dtg mengajar awak...niwae, evrything muz continue...

Well,Learnt bout KIAMAT....THE END TYMES...THE JUDGEMENT DAE...

When you tell a story bout tat, the chill juz run down ur spine...SCARED RYTE??? SCARED RYTE???haha...

Ok,so where shud i start first??hmm...

Well, U noe we have 7 syurga as well as 7 Neraka...Juz like our 7 lapisan kulit...

APOLOGIES FIRST IF I"M WRONG...BUT,i will try to remember everything...

Ustaz said," Syurga pertama adelarh kebanyakan dari neraka...Ader cap pat dahi awak tertulis awak dari neraka...syurga kedua adalarh,TUP!!! ape awak nak timbul dpan awak...Syurga ketiga penuh dengan bidadari...Yang cantik2,yg lebih cantik dari wanita pat dunia ini..utk org yg mati syahid...Syurga 4,awak dpt berjumpa dengan sumer nabi2,syurga kelima awak dpt berjumpa ngn sumer malaikat..Syurga keenam,Beyond ur imagination...

Iblis itu asalnyer dari seorang malaikat yg bername AZAZIL..Sayngnyer,dier mungkir dan tidak patuh pada tuhan...

Nabi Isa Belum Wafat lagi...Christian believes he is crucified but actuali he was raised to be wit the angels..Imam mahdi,takde org yg tahu sape dier...Bile tiba masenyer,dier akn keluar bersama Isa...History will repeat itself...Di saat,Nabi isa keluar,Dunia akn penuh dgn ketenangan...Wealth will be vommited out...sampaikn manusia kaya sangat...Sampaikn disatu saat,org kaya nk kasi duit pat org miskin pon,dier tknk sbb dier ader harta...Peace tat even ifu put baby infront of a snake,it won't bite at all..

But,like i said history will repeat like the times wen the FIRAUN was veri cruel...After years,then u will see...Humans bcome So bad again...Nabi Isa will wafat...ITs so bad tat humans commit adultery at the middle of the road..smpaikn ader hamba allah nie yg dtg,saying,can u do it behind the walls?? Tats wen u see World War 3 Will happen...After tat, There will be 3 daes where the sun won't cum out...Gempa bumi di bumi akan berlaku di langit...Di situlah,hari kamu sumer akan dimatikn termasuk malaikat...Hanya Tuhan saje yg tgl...Bile kamu bangun,siapla kamu dipadang masyhar....

Di padang masyhar, Tats where ur sins and pahale will be weighed...If ur mouth lied u never commit Maksiat, Juz wait n see a big screen will show everything of date,tyme n place u did tat..di depan sumer org....Disitu lah terbongkarnyer AIB(malu) kamu....

Not onli tat,he said Dajal is alreadi here,juz tat he's not yet out...By tat Tyme,Muslims Disobey Nabi Muhammad teachings....Dajal will go to all the towns in 40 Days n 40 Nytes...Except for Mecca n medinah onli.....

Well, All the future is in Al-quran...You may go YOUTUBE n search for "THE ARRIVAL"....

LIFE........

Tell u wat, the feeling sux so much!!!! I'm sick...My whole head is heavy...My body is like so stiff..I still fast..Tomorrow, i start werk at STARBUCKS MARINA SQUARE...yea,i noe another F&B world..Hate it but i hev to...Aniwae, On 18th August, Wed..Theory lesson 3&4 for Bike..On 19th, my X-Ray...On 20th morning,go johor court for bro's property case...afternoon, going out wit my gerls...21st, going Geylang with Baby...

Btw,Juz finish painting my house alone..Fucking tired...Gudness sake!! At last,wat i wanted all this while is fulfilled..My house in Pink n Red...YEAH!!!!lols!!

Well, so much thing happen since i last update...first,its bout my b'dae...hee...

Well, baby went dining in wit me...We went to Breeks bcoz he wanted to try there...I was dressing up wen he came into my room n surprise me with Bouquet of Flowers n chocolates!!! hee,my fav!!!

After tat, we went karaoke...haha!! kelakar sey baby....especially wen he nk tarik...suare da saket,sengaje nk tarik lagi...haha!!! so much fun tat we laugh all the way wen we walk to MRT Station to go to CITY HALL...i wore dress then baby said wat u noe,"At last,you bcum a gerl for 1 dae..".. kanasai...I said,U wan a gerl,go larh search for a gerl, i not tat girlish wat.....aniwae, a fun tyme wit hym..we joke n laugh the whole dae...Love hym so much...

Tanx Baby!!! My b'dae was a blast...Tanx for everything...Muachss!!!

Well,then...after mine was MAMA's B'dae...Baby's mom b'dae...Indeed,fall the same dae as my bro...

HEPI 27th B'dae Abg....

Aniwae, we gave mom a surprise...A b'dae cake surprise...His dad went out wit his mom..Whereas baby n me hurried to Woodlands and Bukit Panjang Plaza...We bought cake at causeway n baby bought Bouquet of flowers for his mom,ROSES!!!! hee...I gave his mom a present of BODY SHOP's Perfume...:)Ordered pizza...Then,his uncle came...Wonderful!!! his uncle told a story how he got to noe his ex-wife...He is quite old but he still remembers on wat date,dae n tyme he first met his wife n went out for dating...Awesome isn't it???Well,i fu got a guy tat can remember all the small tings, it means he reali pay attention n priortise everything..he is sure he loves u so much..Tats y everything is emembered bcoz he regards u as someone special to his lyfe...So cute his uncle,reali funny...

Aren't they sweet???Hee...:))

NATIONAL DAE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well,after tat...i celebrated wit Baby on NATIONAL DAY...We watched FIREWORKS at MARINA..My sister was in Parade...We coincidentally met wit Fariz n Risa...It was packed..We went to CINELEISURE...Over there,we went to eat at Centrepoint Macdonald...Then,lpk near MRT station..took pictures but haven't download yet...Sorie ppl..haha!!

After tat,we board the train to CITY HALL...Reached there..BABY n RISA has to go WEST side..FARIS n ME has to go EAST side...

I was hugging n kissing baby to bid farewell,Risa n Fariz too...Suddenly,i heard this irritating announcemt kip repeating,"THE LAST TRAIN TO JOO KOON IS AT PLATFORM A..."...I was like,"Joo Koon,ouh okae..its not my train...Ouh Shit!!! Its Baby's TRAIN!!!"....I quickly tell baby,"b,last train to joo koon at PLATFORM A b..."...Baby was like chilling...Then i was like," B, U DGR TK B??LAST TRAIN U!!!! CPT!!! RISA!!! UR LAST TRAIN!!!"....Fariz n me was like panicked...Then,baby n risa ran away but unfortunately they were clumsy,they went up to diff,escalator...I and fariz again panicked...hahah!!Lucky,they got in tyme to board their train...Haix...I laughed wholeheartedly...Its like we are separating wit our partner going to Overseas studies...So cute...hehe..

BABY's B'DAE!!!!!!!!!!

Well,after tat..i planned something for BABY's B'DAE...wanted to break fast outside..Then,go sheesha n surprise baby wit b'dae cake...But,it turned out tat baby read my msg wit farhan...Baby kn takot aku contact laki laen...hahah!!!Our plan spoiled..so,i try plan B...I told baby i tk jadi go out wit hym,hev to mit my uncle n gave hym money...So tat baby won't tink tat i'm celebrating aniting...so tat i can surprise hym wit Fariz n Risa,An,hisyam all during him breaking fast at his home..

Our plan ruined wen baby himself said he wants go out wit his cathay frens...I try to ask his family to stop hym frm going out but they dun hev a reason to...I asked farhan to contact Alfian to tell his cathay fren tat we alreadi had a plan for hym but alfian cudn't be reached..Tried several ways but wen i particularly chatting wit hym at FB,i saw one of his cathay fren post says that they misses hym so much....

It was so heartwrenching wen i saw tat..By tat post n comment,i told myself i shud gave up my plan to stop hym frm going out..Pitied his frens,they misses hym so much...He has the ryte to be hepi on his birthday,on our anniversary..I dun mind being so restless,disapponted n upset as long he's hepi meeting his cathay frens...Sometimes in love u nid sacrifice juz to see ur partner smile n be hepi...

I wrote a letter telling hym my intention n while he was away outside at Geylang,i came to his house..I put the cake in his fridge...I left his presents in his room wit the letter..The big present was a VANS SHOE tat he wanted so badly...We ever said to each other to buy a pair for us..I told hym we buy it on our anniversary bcoz i actuali alreadi bought it for hym...

The small present was a pendant...A couple pendant i bought for hym...I left it there and i went home disappointed..I msged hym,saying tat,"wah,u lau kua ngn i,alek cpt eh sal last bus..ngn kwn u,alek lmbt eh"...He replied,"mestilarh,kate b'dae i kn.."...Yea,i forgot for a moment,he was supposed to celebrate it happily...Though i was disappointed bcoz i wanted to spend tyme wit hym on our 4th anniversary, i still kept quiet...especially wen he kept delaying tyme to go hm...i sat at home doing nuting on my stupid anniversary...Few minutes before 12,i wished hym in FB tat i hope he hears me whispered to his ears,"Hepi 19th B'dae syg n Hepi 4th Months anniversary to us"...

Well,Ramadhan has come...May god open HIS PATH for me to ask for forgiveness...

For 19 years of LIFE...

Forgive me for the Lies i had, Forgive me for wat i stole in my past;the shoes,the money,the Ipod,the clothes,the stationeries...Forgive me for the Hanky Panky stuff i done..., forgive me for my werds....FORGIVE ME FOR MY BAD DOINGS...

FORGIVE ME FOR EVERYTHING.....

Yeap,i agree...I was bad...stole here n there in the past...My mom's money wen i was Pri 3,fren's money wen i was in Pri 1...Shoes n stationeries at bkshop n homes wen i was in sec sch,Ipod lying around at skool...Wallet lying around at Stadium..i alwaes feel guilty if i stole...Starting from sec 1, there was one thing in me tat i won't steal frm..I told myself i will never steal aniting frm the person i love animore...Mum was the onli person i love out of so many people tat i stole money frm during small...IT WAS THE FIRST N THE LAST TYME I STOLE MONEY FROM ppl i LOVE..

Now,i left everything behind bcoz i dunwan to do any of tat animore...Life in Sec sch was bad...

I learnt to be trustworthy..i learnt to be dependable n reliable..I learnt EMPATHY... n i hate ppl who steals now...Even if u dun hev money, u dun resort to tat crime...I regret who was i in the past....I dun steal for money but juz for fucking play...

I lied.Yes,a big liar n i noe how to kip my lies well...Lied to mom,lied to frens...Lied to everybody...Now,i wanted to be honest as much as i can...No matter wat the outcome will be...same,i feel guilty wen i lied...

THOSE WERE PRATICALLY WAT HUMANS ALWAES DO...EVEN SMALL LIE OR SMALL THINGS YOU STOLE...haix..

I realise the more i grow old the more i understand bout Life,Love n Religion..Even more after i was attached to BABY...

tats y i wanted to ask for forgiveness for all i was in the past...

Change is never too late...

Well,People tot i'm a gud,religious person since sec 4...But,i wasn't. i was actuali trying to be one...Try n kip trying to change..Tats y started frm sec 4,i started praying again...i was afraid of my past mistakes....Oh allah,plz lead me....

Well,visited abg todae...He's hepi tat i mit hym. We joke abit..He fast n read 1 juz frm Quran everydae..He also tadikat insyde there..He said he did not received my B'dae Card to hym...I said,hw cum? i send alreadi u noe...I told hym i'm sending Hari Raya Card soon...He asked me,"sya,tlg aku carikkn buku hadis2 imam bukhari or find a book tat has all compiled hadis2 frm the imam..Send me a photo of our family on tis raya okae..n find lyrics of Hari Raya songs n ts liriks tau...I wan to sing inside...I was so upset wen i heard tat...I still remain calm though i'm on the verge of tears...

He cudn't celebrate it wit us...I bet he will cry insyde while singing Raya songs wit his 3 frens...Four of them staying one room shud be laughing n crying singing n thinking of Raya outside...Oh allah,plz forgive hym...Ringanknla hukuman,beban nye...told hym to be patient,pray alot...

His face...The innocence...I noe Abg is actuali a good decent boy...

Yesterdae,paint the house..I became a boy for one whole dae...Paint the house la..Betulkn wire la...Pasang Tv la...Haix...I told mum..."Mite as well i change my breast n my private part..ahah!!!"...Then mama said,"bagos,aisah mcm mama..Jadi org pompan nie aisah,nk kne serba-boleh,mcm2 dier bleh buat...barulah pompan namer nyer tu,lau tk betina..Phm??"...I smiled.

Tat dae Baby was sick wit fever...I went to his house after i went out with my gerls to sentosa..

I was panicked wen baby was sick..Pitied hym so much..I bring water to his room n ask hym to drink plenty of water...I asked his sister for towels..I wet the towel n put it to his head n armpit...Change the water till his body is not warm animore...Worried bout hym so much..You noe i care n i love hym so much...After tat,he recovers...:)

ANIWAE, Baby is cute...Yea,u noe tat..Wen i'm angry or disappointed,he will quickly pujuk me...He sense it well...Yea n baby is so sweet...He watched Marimar....its my fav drama...Cutekn...hee...okae...werk is starting soon...I miz my BABY so much!!!!!!

Well,Love has its Ups n Downs...Sometimes u quarrel,sumtimes you are back together..But wat it is,nver ask for break up..Instead try imagining tat the werd Break-up is not in the dictionary n try to give in n solve the problems at ur veri best...:)

From a quote..(if i'm not wrong,frm an ustaz or professor)

"Seorang Isteri itu bknnyer org yg boleh kiter buat sebagai pembantu rumah..

Malah,Seorang isteri itu adalah Anugerah dari Tuhan

yang patot kiter syukuri untuk menjaga kiter"..

Niwae...Loike the Aril and Randy song so much!!!!hee...

* Allah has given me you...

All i needed is to take gud care of you...

To be wit you till End Of tyme...

* HE gaves me lightning that warns me..

HE gaves me Storms that scares me...

HE gaves me Rain that drenched me..

Then,HE gave me Sun tat warms me..

HE gaves me light tat brightens me..

Most importantly, HE makes hym

My Only sunshine...

I'm so much hurt internally but i still appear strong..It takes a long tyme to heal my broken heart..The pain is unbearable..

2010-07-24T17:49:00.001+08:00

Skool.....

Well, as for now we need to get readi for our event at skool on 30th July 2010....haix....still haven't revise POM unit 1 to 6 again..Unit 7 & 8, i still nid to prepare notes...And i'm doin EOP notes again...I'm not tat used to mindmap..all these while i studied using point form..i do use mindmap but onli for chapters that require short notes bcoz i can't memorise so many details on mindmap unless in point form..Different ppl study diff way ryte..Lucky for me,i finished my LIFESKILL project...Left onli ETP project,then finally i can concentrate on more THEORY...Skool started as usual..I do miss CLEMENTI...Reali do....Alwaes got disturbed by guyz in the new skool whenever u walk alone..Can't kip their eyes off gerls...haix...

M.L....

The gerls asked me out next Wed to club..I told them i can't coz i'm skooling the next day...Sure mom will not agree if i go home late...Well,the gerls wanted to do pit on my b'dae...But,bcoz i told them i will be cumg late coz going out with my guy first,they postponed it to 7 AUG....Aniwae, Ika pkcik's b'dae is 2mrw....Da tua pon kawan aku nie.....hahahaha!!!!aniwae,hope ur relationship with Azmi last long...Kahwin siang eh...nk kne kahwin sblom aku nie sbb mambang kau ader tua sikit...lols....Lucky for tis year eh kau cabot dari kne sabo ngn kiter...she's going out 2mrw wit AZMI so she's not cumg down aniwae...Yesterdae,lpk wit them...all came down except zura and Ira...Huda alwaes talk nonsense and make us laugh...all the dirty things...kecoh sia...had an awesome tyme wit them...

But, ayn seems to change alot...She seems sensitive nowadays...I'm not sure why...Ayn,if u have problem,cum and approach me aite...You seems different from urself...You used to take jokes but now u get so easily mad...Juz tell me if sumting troubling u or make you change ur mood aite...Huda is alwaes hepi...Ika pkcik said," shipment uh tu..sbb tu hepi semacam"....lols...

LYFE.....

So many things happen lately, the pain tat i'm goin tru is unbearable....Too busy tat i cudn't spend tyme updating my blog since the last update. Well,currently ur fren here waiting for her theory test and goin tru Prac 5...Haix,i reali nid to pass quickly...well,yesterdae lpk wit all of them..alin was so hepi and hyperactive,kip o disturbing ppl here and there...i asked hym,"kau ape hal nie,hepi sgt?salah mkn ubat pe sia?"...alin replied,"smlm dpt dok,sbb tu hepi"...i said,"sial je kau.."...then,he replied,"tgk ika pkcik,lagi hepi,senyum je"...then,Ika pkcik replied,"smlm dapt sia, giler babi nyer...tgk nie(pointing to her boyfren face), dier dpt smlm tu ngn aku,sebab tu lebar je senyum dier"...i was like,"sial uh krg,sumer hepi semcm,prangai dpt semalam sak.."...lols...

Adi hang out yesterdae after a long tyme didn't saw hym lpk..still remember the tyme i like hym so much tat i try to find his b'dae..Indeed,diana said,eh,b'dae dier 20th Aug la sia.."...Leo jugak...i got to noe frm my gerls recently,"kau tahu tk adi nmpk cm gitu.kwn aku knal dier,kwn aku ckp dier jiwang giler babi nyer sia..gembeng nyer sia...nmpk je hemsem manis gitu.."..i replied,"serious??bgosla tu..tu menunjukkn dier nyer org soft-hearted"...I realise yesterdae,wen i sat beside ika pkcik,taking a glance at hym,he was staring at me...tk dinafikan mmg dier cute..dun believe,search for malaysian actor name faisal,siti nordiana's ex husband...his face even gud-looking than tat..hahah...Nvm,he was my crush...so,all left now he is onli my eyecandy...i'm attached wit my love aniwae...

Aniwae,I reali wanna go KARAOKE....Its where i shud go to release my pain...Singing is the onli fav thing...I wish to sing the songs that i alwaes sing...haix...

well,how shud i start tis??Some ppl are not satisfied tat i wrote in my blog my boyfie is still virgin...well,if he lies to me,then,tats his problem wit me,nuting has got to do wit anybody...He's not a virgin?Does tat troubles u at all?? i dun give a fuck care & i still accept hym. who are you to judge hym?? i noe bout all his past,i accepted his flaws n past..so,dun ever tink tat 'm ditching hym bcoz of tat particular thing...

Yesterdae, sat wit a fren and told her bout iti nearly cried.." Aku tak tahu ape nk uat sak..Biler aku dapat tahu, aku tersentak sak,terdudok sak pat atas kerusi....Kau imagine slamer 4 bulan, aku letak trust aku pat org...kau tahu tk mlm tu biler aku tahu,saket giler sak ati aku..i dun even noe who to turn to...Sbb org yg aku paling trust sendiri yg uat aku gitu..aku termenung,tk tido smpai pagi sak,menangis migrain...dier btol2 bunuh aku sak...selamer 19 tahun aku hidop,aku tk pnah rase saket mcm gini...mcm kne rentap sak hati aku...smpai skrg sak ati aku maseh sakit...abg aku yg kne tangkap masok penjara ungu sentence pon tk terok gini sak...dier manusia pertama sak uat jantung aku jatuh gitu...how do u expect me to forget bout all tat incident? aku tkder org nk mengadu kau tahu tk....rase dier mcm seorang suami jatuhkn talak pat isteri dier dengan tkder salah pape kau tahu tk...aku pandang dier cm laki aku sak sbb tu aku terima dier..lau aku treat dier mcm matair aku,da lamer aku tglkn dier ikot prangai aku dulu,lompat pat jantan laen..ntah,aku mmg da baek ngn dier tapi hati aku maseh saket,maseh teringatkn sumer incident tu..aku senyum2,tapi pat dlm hati aku saket sak menangis"...she replied," lau dier blg kau siang2,tk semestinyer kau tk terima dier pe,bleh consider sak...lau aku pon,saket sak org tipu aku selamer aku ngn dier...Org yg selamer nie kau harap2,rupanyer terbalik sak,maner tk saket ati...be strong gerl,kuatkn semangat,aku phm..".....If i can accept aideel,why can't i accet hym?? but,the pain is unbearable bcoz the guy u trusted so much lied to you...For years,i wasn't att bcoz the reason is,i can easily noe if guyz lied to me...Tats y i dun risk myself to be attached..Onli one guy,i hev told bout tis n it was Fyan...Honesty is the werd i can never find in any guy i ever knew for 19 years...how do u expect me to trust if i hev been goin tru a life like tat?? The feeling is like a husband juz lied to his wife bout sumting so important to her...Maybe its fated for me to go tru a love so pain throughout my whole lyfe...

I'm mad at hym but i still love hym..I cudn't do aniting...Leaving hym is no use too,it won't change aniting aniwae...i told my frens,"aku terima nie ngn hati terbuka,redha ngn sumer yg terjadi..mungkin nie larh dugaan tuhan nk kasi aku,nk uji kesabaran aku...Malang naseb aku selame nie"...I noe he tries to gain my trust back...he said,there won't be any lies after tis...Though i try to trust hym,there is still insecurities in me...N tats why i'm alwaes insecure since the dae i was wit hym...My instinct nvr lies...My dream cam tru,my insecurities came true...I was ryte...

Sumtimes i feel,wenever i'm needed,then he wud find me...perhaps its just my insecurities but its not wrong ryte to tink negative...He asked me to tink positive before but in the end the outcome was negative...Ayeesha once said,"ala laki,blom dpt sume sweet talk,24 jam kol kau,msg kau,da dpt kau tgk prangai dier.."

MAMA alwaes said,"no matter how u love sumone,never to risk ur pride..its sumting tat ppl cannot buy.."I admit mama is fierce n my frens are afraid of her,saying tat rabak pe mak kau.but,todae i learnt without her nagging,without her controlling me n without her priceless advice,i wud hev alreadi gone astray...I told my sis,"aku bangga mama didik kiter ngn betol..Ingat mairah,mcm aner kau sayang org tu pon,jgn sekali-kali kau serahkn maruah kau pat dier"..

I reali nid tyme to heal my heart....Tats the reason why i dun wan to get attached..Ika bk told me to move on..But,i told her,"tk bolehla..aku nyer org cpt patah hati..skali org saketkn ati aku,it will take tyme to heal it.."...That was the reason why..but,ika bk told me,nah not all guyz are the same..there are till honest n sincere guyz out there..kau jgn takot la..can u plz for once put trust on them?"...I did.I move on. But, i end up broken-hearted too..tat was the risk tat i forced myself to take...I got nuting to fall back now...To turn back is to cry for my own decision..I made tat decision.I chose my lovepath.I got nobody to blamexcept for myself.I made a step,i hev to go tru a thousands steps infrnt of me.I'm a woman of my werds n i won't turn back on my decision..

Wat makes you different from other lovers??I tell u how to be one in a million in his eyes..

Care for hym like a mother care for his child & love hym like a wife love her husband....

I smile outside but i sobbed inside,

I laugh outside but i cried inside,

I'm strong outside but i'm weak inside,

I'm alive outside but I died inside...

I still remember wat adelyn said,"kau jgn risau aisah...Aku percaye dier baek untuk kau..Jgn takot he will make u hepi..lau tk,jage dier,aku ngn an kejekan dier"...Like a sister she is...

I recall wat he ever said to me before we were together," i promise i will make u hepi from now on...I will never let u cry..I will alwaes take care of you from now n be with you to go tru everything"...i got migrain nowadays..U not onli lied to me,but u dun realise it,u lied to urself too...

I Yearned for the sweet ayie i used to noe...

I longed for the old gud SHAHRIL i knew...

I can get back the sweet ayie..

But,i cried everydae knowing i cudn't get back the old good bestfren SHAHRIL bcoz the old gud boy i knew has been stolen by sumone from his past n it will never be the same SHAHRIL i knew wen we first met..

I never regret being with you...I accepted you,it was my choice to be with you..it was my choice to live wit you..it was my choice to put trust on you...

So, if i regret,i onli hev myself to be blamed,not anybody...If u hurt me,i'm onli left myself to be blame bcoz i chose you...I love you without asking to be loved so much in return...I care for you tat i forgot to actuali love and care myself...I hope you understand how i need to hev faith in myself to trust you back again bcoz though i smile,i'm still hurt inside...

* Perhaps, One Dae when you woke up,

then you will realise.

When I'm gone,

Then you will feel

How I actuali appear to be

so calm,patient & strong

eventhough i was so hurt inside..

Every Mask Glows, Every Soul Shines.......Where every Mystery lies,Where every Truth hides....

2010-07-10T16:53:00.002+08:00

M.L.....

Gerlz.... The 3 posts is updated...

Secretary: Ann' De Sugaritze

Treasurer: Loila ' Astalavistey

Event Planner: Veronica Abby Li' Delina

The rest; Safara BellaEwan Len Edan, Erika Lenka, Emberlynn Estrella' Armelle,

Katarina fidella Estelle' Martina,Tricia Ze' Cruezella...

Attention!! I'm doing a video on u gerls...I nid a pic of u gerls wearing a mask each & any best pic of you...No mask??Cum and look for me...I got one...Those who still hev not passed me the name yet,i can't update urs in here...sorie...plz tagged me ur two photos in my FB...

Btw,We got a new member joining us...Congratulations, She's a part of us...Add her up at FB if u noe her name..And,Veronica,plz update her up on our outings...Loila, Tricia kip asking me how much she owes bcoz she wants to clear her debts, can u plz check it out fer her from ur previous treasurer??Tanx...

Gerlz,Plz get to noe all our gerlz contacts frm now on...so,tat its easy fer those who wants to get tru u..tanx..

To Emberlynn Estrella' Armelle, U hev been in silence absence...Isit bcoz of werk??I'm not sure...Plz appraoch if u reali hev problems aite...

Plz report to Ann if u guyz cannot turn up for any outings or meetings...Bcoz,She is gonna ans fer everything....

Perhaps, its me who can't accept the face if we were to separate...

2010-07-09T03:29:00.000+08:00

Skool.....

School has start...As you know,its no more at Clementi..no more,ITE CLEMENTI,Now ITE CHOA CHU KANG!!!!! Well,1st dae was a bright one...We were almost lost in the skool..Too many ppl...The school is big n you know everydae u get to see alot of ppl n especially hunks..haha...but,it doesn't amaze me at all bcoz u noe wen u are so in love wit ur guy,u juz dun care bout anybody...one thing tat u still search for is sense of belonging in tat skool...i juz miz clementi so much..Perhaps bcoz so many things happen there,from Sc to Frens,frm frens to Crushes,from crushes to love...It all started from there...Aniwae, we hev to get used to it...

As for Dance, I'm still taking a break frm it..Ms joei told me to stop dancing fer a while...NCC??? maybe i miz ncc till i dreamt bout it...Wen i woke up n check my phone,true enuf, Sgt Farhan miss call me n simah msg me asking fer help...lols...Hmm...i'm gg fer Senior Spec Course 2 in September...

M.L.....

Well, u shud alreadi noe tat we change all the 3 posts alreadi.....The message is alreadi sent to u ppl..i dun nid to explain it here...Aniwae,we hev a new member joining us...She will cum for the next meeting....her name shall be updated here soon...

RELIGIOUS Class!!!!!

Hmm...well,came fer religious class last sun...Ustaz told us bout guyz nowadays...

Do u noe?? Haram bagi seorang laki memukul,menyiksa perempuan tau..Tetapi,jika laki atau perempuan itu berzina ataupun minum arak,diernyer wajib dipukul...

Ustaz oso said tat he got his NS fren tat smokes...Wen he was in camp,his fren cudn't smoke or buy cigarettes...His fren was down wit fever for more than 3 daes....After tat,he got used to it n stop smoking...sad to hear tat wen he falls sick but in the end,its gud fer hym..hmm...

Well, do u noe tat between Taurat,In jil and Al-Quran,Taurat is the most Strict one??where if u disobey or break the rules of Islam,u will face veri tragic consequences...We are lucky Quran is a lenient one for us..Although Muslims made alot of mistakes, they are forgiven n was given opportunity to change n repent..

Well, learnt bout Abu Hurairah...He is a gud fren of NABI MUHAMMAD S.A.W.

Do u noe tat walaupun miskin,dier tidak pernah meminta2 org wang atau brg sebab dier pentingkn kesederhanaan..Dier jugak byk menghafaz a-quran dan Hadis2 rasullullah..not onli tat,he also loves animals smpaikn dier masok ke kelas dengan membawa kucing di dlm lengan bajunye..

ustaz say no matter from where u hear any hadis,if u wanna noe the truth,u got to refer back to quran. Quran is 'soheh'...'soheh' means Benar..Each tyme u finish reading quran,u will read,"salakallah hul azzim"...meaning,"benarla kata-katanya"...

Do u noe Imam Bukhari....everytyme,before he puts 1 perkara hadis in the book,he alwaes fast,pray n leave it all to allah bcoz the book tat ppl will read affect them..Jika salah Hadis,maka ia akan menyesatkn kiter...

so,tats all i've learnt in previous lesson...

Life.....

hmm...well...currently,i'm doin my circuit revision for my bike...Abg admi gave me money to continue my bike license..Somedae,i will repay hym back...he alwaes support me in watever i do..truthfully,i miz hym alot...

Aniwae, back to my Baby...He's my life..U noe wat,he loves listening to wat i hev to tell hym like the drama in Tv about MARIMAR....haha,u noe i like guyz who like to listen to me telling stories...Tkder keje kn...hehe...

Ouh yeah,did i tell u tat we checked our negative traits??He's possessive whereas i'm jealous...lols..Both appear different from it but actuali deep down we are..Juz tat,we take things slow..U noe wen we hev trust in relationships,there shudn't be aniting tat we r afraid of...

Yeah n fer gudness sake,BABY is so CURIOUS!!!!!lols...U wanna noe why??? Sorie,but i can't tell..its a dirty secret of us...Juz between both of us onli...No wonder they sae wen two lions met, they are so intimately in love...hehehe...U noe guyz sumtimes they are horny in their own ways...Especially wen i talk to this to Baby bout NORMAN N JOEY...But,my baby is soo cute..he is veri naughty in his own ways...n we enjoy pampering each other...Though he is a guy, i still pamper hym bcoz i understands lion likes to be pampered. I dun expect hym to pamper me all the tyme..We juz pamper each other n enjoy being in each other arms..:) I like the way how naughty he is...Joey asked whether are we both virgins..I told hym of course yes...We take gud care of it u noe..mama said ur virginity is a gift fer ur husband wen ur married one dae...So,we promise to kip it...I told baby thiz," ayg, promise me tat u will kip ur virginity until ur married,eventhough if one dae u are no more with me??"...Ayg said,"i promise.."...And i kissed hym on the forehead...tats one thing tat i'll never forget....

Tat dae, i was angry wit hym wen he smokes more than 3 sticks per dae..i told hym if he doesn't want me to control hym animore,than i let hym do watever he wants..he said he needed tyme to reduce smoking.. he cannot smoke 3 sticks per dae but 5 sticks... I was mad wit hym but i pity hym sumway or another...He came down to Tampines n waited fer me more than 1 hour... At last,i came down n met hym...i search fer hym but he did not want to tell me where he is..merajokla tu..But then,i search fer hym at Multi-storey carpark bcoz tats where we hang out most of tyme where u noe u can see the sky above..So,i went up there...but, i didn't found hym..I cried sitting down alone,then he appear n hugged me in his arms...Cried fer hym too much alreadi rather than all the guyz i hev known...Its tired but tats bcoz i love hym too much...

I asked hym wat will he do if i'm disabled one dae??? He replied as long as ur heart is still there,

i will stay wit u...He said bcoz he wans to be loved by me wen my heart is there,wants to be pampered by me...I cried upon hearing tat...Words are sumhow more than actions..its not tat i dun trust his werds but u can never put too much hope fer sumting....But,i'm assured to stay by hym no matter wat happens to hym..Even if he's paralysed n cudn't walk,i will make sure he can stand up n walk again...I dun mind getting scolded by hym..u noe wen ppl are sick,they get too stress up n scolds...but,u noe...eventhough he scolds,i will still stay by hym...

You noe i love hym too much to the extent tat i felt no other gerls can love hym more than i do...Yeah,3 mths of anniversary is coming...Fast isn't it?? I'm counting every now n then...Though its alreadi going to 3 mths, i still miss hym every sgl sec tat we are apart..waiting fer every sgl msg from hym,waiting for his call to chat with me..Eventhough,sumtimes we are moody in phone or it becums bored, i still dunwan to put the phone down..I feel relieved hearing his voice...aniwae many ppl said, we are too full in conversation.there's alwaes sumting to talk about...I love hym so much..He gave me sense of security,sense of belonging n warmth...he puts on the smile to my face everydae...He did so many things wit me...He is so confident tat i'll be with hym bcoz he noes i love hym...I thank god fer giving me hym as a gift fer a lifetyme...i hope so..We had so many dreams together n i hope we strive to make it true one dae...

Ouh yeah,i changed my status to MARRIED TO RYAN NIL BOLSTON in FACEBOOK...tats bcoz i tink its better rather than i hev guyz wanting to get to noe me n flirts wit me...So,i changed...My baby noes so many things bout me...n tats y i love hym...

I wish,i wish n i wish fer hym to stay by my side forever...So many things we hev done together tat mostly everything reminds our memories...Everytyme,i walked thru multi-storey carpark,i remember we loves to hang out there..same goes to Marina Square..The starbucks,the steps..Waterbreaker,Beach...Seeing couples ride bikes together..Looking at the stars,going to movies...Studying together n now a new thing we hev done...Its like we played wrestling....Everytyme i saw,i walk thru or i did sumting or even said sumting,it all has got to do wit hym...You noe tats how u cannot forget ur loved ones...Some ppl are jealous the love tat we got n tats how i enjoyed seeing tat...bcoz it gaves me strength to love hym more everydae....

Wen i was mad,he asked me,"u regret being wit me ryte?"...i kept quiet.i did no wanna ans bcoz he noes it well tat i wud never tink tat way n he noes me obviously tat i reali do love hym...I made a decision,i made the choice...I was the one who chose tat way so i'm never gonna look back..I i wanna regret one dae, i will stick to hym no matter wat bcoz i mde tat decision, i'm never gonna turn back on it...I'm a woman of my werds...wen i said, i mean it..tats how i said i love hym...

Dear allah,will he forever be by my side?? I went to doc..doc said its nuting serious.i hope so too wen i get my results next thursdae fer the scanning..

If in aniwae tat I lost myself
1 dae,disabled,incapable or even lack of sumting,
THEN FROM TAT DAE ONWARDS,I SHALL FREE HYM TO LET HYM FIND HIS OWN HAPpINeSS...

A princess that feels doubtful...

2010-06-22T17:43:00.004+08:00

Wat shud i blog about myself??? As usual,you noe whenever i'm upset, unsure,doubtful,insecure,stressed,i wud blog....hmm...well,i shall sae wats on my mind currently....

SKOOL....

Well, holidayz is still on...Haven't complete my projects...hmm...I shud remind azura of ETP project...I shud complete lifeskills project before skool reopens hook or by crook...EOP,i'm not sure.......Haix...well,no ans fer tat too...

Tat dae,we got SC bonding at Sentosa...Played Amazing Race...My grp consists of me,Alvin,Shadri,Naszira,Lina and khairani....Everybody was like "hey,my grp will win okae.."...I told them,"abes uh krg...mati uh...grp aku cnferm menang nyer..hahahaha!!!"...i was joking and playing actuali...My grp was the last to start bcoz we had difficulties figuring out the first clue...I appointed Shadri as the leader bcoz i feel we shud gave the juniors a chance...After we sorted it out, we all ran...Beach Tram was full of people so we had to run to the monorail station...Then,suddenly,a buggy drove past us and stop infrnt of us..Shadri quickly asked the Angmoh to help us to give a ride..He agreed,i was so hepi.."Baek uh shadri,syg kau giler punye.."....but,u noe wat sahrifah grp hopped on the buggy tram too..grr...sebok kn??hahaha!!!Sabree and Shadri was the joker of the dae..lols...Aniwae,we got to do the forfeit...Shadri sacrifices hymself to be drenched in the water alot of times...His shoes were so nice and yet it was wet...pathetic sia...Thankful to hym...We were tired actuali,ran here n there but we motivated each other..The last part was so tired..we ran to catch Edwin to finish up our last station..Edwin kip running frm us...Me,alvin and shadri ran like hell and was laughing bcoz nazira pretend to be left out behind bcoz she can't run actuali..So,we managed to get edwin at last..

And Edwin told us,

WE WERE THE FIRST TEAM!!!!!

of coz,i was ecstatic...After tat,i lead the SC to play DOG and BONE at the Beach Sands...Tat was even more fun and hilarious...Shadri was again in my grp...Tk abes2 dier kne hempap ngn kak pah...And sabree asik gado wit suffy wen actuali the bottle is wit other ppl...its like both of them are playing rugby...

Oh yeah, shadri reminds me of Raihan..His face like Raihan but Raihan lagi cute la..haha...Told prince bout tat...He dun mind if i say some guyz are cute..haha!!! Bcoz,he noes he's alwaes cuter than anione else...:)hehe...

P.S : Sorie peeps,i got no pictures on my Sentosa outing wit SC...The pictures are wit other ppl..i can't get it...:(

M.L........

Well, i reali had fun wit my hotties going to karaoke at K-BOX at Downtown East tat dae....

Sang alot of songs....I sang DIA, AIRMATA IBU, ISABELLA, TAMAN RASHIDAH UTAMA,ANGGAPANMU, HIHI BYEBYE, RETAK, DUA INSAN, RESIPI BERKASIH....many more...I end the KARAOKE session with me singing BUKAN CINTA BIASA by SITI NURHALIZA....It was awesome....

Juz came into the room,huda offer me drink..She said,"minum uh.."...i replied,"tknk uh,aku lau nyanyi aku minum air putih je.."...Then,she replied," minum sikitla,nie air sprite la"...i take the glass frm her hand n smell it..."puki kau, kau ckp ngn aku air sprite,nk bodo-bodokn aku eh??babi,check2 bkn...bau cm sial sak,bluek!!".....it was vodka..sialnyer huda....Da tu,she burp and fated at me while i was sitting quietly focusing on the karaoke lyrics...

kao be kaobu!!!!nang boti nang tui bo tui.....Well,i shall let the pictures explain to u more bout how fun we had...

P.S: Thanks fer adding the smile to my face, Gerlz...

Love ya guyz alot..

Lyfe.....

Well, prince juz msg me saying tk jady nk watch sunset..Everytyme we wanted to watch sunset together,slalu tk jadi...he alwaes wake up late...He noes he wanna go out wit me but then he alwaes sleep late..In the end,he woke up late and sutimes tk jadi nk umpe....His frens doesn't hev to wake up early like hym to mit me or go out wit me...he have to yet he sleeps late juz like his frens..I feel like a nuisance..Perhaps,if he wants to slip and wake up late,then might as well he nid not tink of meeting me...

Maybe i'm juz a distraction...Its alright, do wat he feels he wanna do..haix...

Now,i feel lyke sitting by the beach alone...i guess i'm goin after i blog about tis...

aniwae, yesterdae sat wit prince...i asked hym do u noe tat if ppl look at you,they will see u as one tat suits wit a gerl tat wear dresses,high heels??? Truthfully,i feel i dun suits u at all...yelarh,i cm selekeh tau b...pkai jeans,t-shirt gini ngn slipper...Then,he said.."lek uh nk lpk je pe..tkkn nk pkai lawa2...".... He said, "i pon nk pompan cm i,yg lpk kdai kopi...u step yg kai high heels sumer nk lpk je..suro dok pat carpark pon tknk..."...haha!! yeah,its true wat i said..aniwae,i told my gerls before," buat pe nk lawa2 sgt,kau step lau kau da kahwin,ari2 kau nk kai make up je..mesti laki kau tgk kau pat umakn,tkkn nk dress-up 24 jam sak..n i told my gerlz, let guyz accept u fer who u are"....

Yesterdae, wen i sent hym off at library,i asked hym tiz.."b,do u get bored wit me sumtimes??"...i feel i'm bored..."u tk boring ke ngn i?"....He said no. i dunno but i kept tiz to myself until i msged hym juz a few hours ago...i told hym if ever he feels bored wit me or can't stand wit my attitude,

if he wants to find a new lyfe n leave me,then i dun blame hym,i permits it a long as he's hepi....Rather than u noe,sum couple they juz kept quiet to themselves even though they dun love their partner animore or can't stand or even bored,they still go on wit their relationship..i find it ridiculous...I prefer it to be honest....

i noe the TRUTH might hurts but its better rather than u live in his ies forever...you will suffer but its better rather than u see hym suffer being wit u unwillingly...Letting go is pain but i'm used to it...Maybe it will onli hurts fer a while...MAYBE...

But,if u are meant to be together than u will get bck ryte one dae?I believe in Fate...I said tat to hym bcoz i noe he's been coping with his ex attitude though he doesn't like..he kept it to hymself n suffer...why??He hev a choice...

tats y i noe how he is...n i dun wan the same thing to happen to me...Before aniting,i confess it out to hym,if there's aniting tat u dun like or can't stand with me,then its alright..i understand...

If he leaves me one dae,then i hev nobody to blame...Bcoz its lucky,its lucky tat i did not ask hym to promise me aniting....Tats the reason y i ask hym to take bck his werds wen he said," till death do us apart"...Well,i hev my reason of doing things...My close frens now me well...They alwaes noe, aisah will alwaes hev her reason of doing and saying things....i dun juz do,i dun juz sae for the sake of saying or even juz to hurt ppl wit my werds...But,every of my werds hev its deep meaning....sum ppl may spot it,sum dun....

Well,i myself agree..since i'm wit prince,i notice i dun contact guyz...dun understand y...no interest..but,tats me...Maybe ayn noe me well...i used to contact alot of guyz but wen i find one of it tat i feel its fun to contact hym,then i wud juz lose contact wit the rest..juz like aideel last tyme...

Aniwae,i dun expect prince to be wit me all the tyme...his frens sumhow nids hym too..

I gave hym space..Tats the prob wen he wants me to be clingy...i'm so afraid tat i get too clingy wit hym till he gets irritated...

Well,tats all i feel ryte now...and tats the reason why i feel like blogging now...Perhaps let hym decide...Let the tyme decide...

*IF ever you feel a moment

to let me go & leave me,

I shall permits it

no matter wats ur decision....

All the WORST PAIN is

I will onli juz get back wit my gerlz....

And start back a

new lyfe as an

INDEPENDENT GERL=,((

"If a suit meets a man, a stilletto meets a woman"...

2010-06-15T17:13:00.003+08:00

Skool....

Its holidae...glad tat i'm resting fer a while at home..but,can't be too much..Projects still hanging all around my neck..hahah!!!haiz...ape nk jadi...bole mati gini..cner la nk score 3.5 fer Gpa??wen my fucking Gpa is onli 2.7 now??Haiz...i'm totally useless...ouh yeah, Had April Intake Recruitment fer Student council...

There's tis student saying tat she can be the worst bitch,so dun ever mess wit her..and she said we aren't professional wen we interviewed her bcoz the moment she stepped out of the room,we were laughing so loudly...How can she be so sure tat we laugh bout her,fer gudness sake??She's not even professional the moment she steps into the room wit her attire,she said vulgarities while answering our questions..And she hev the guts to sae we aren't professional??well,she said if she wants tat thing,she will make sure get it as well to be in SC...so,i dun mind..u noe,i dun find faults or fights wit ppl ryte?? so,up till now,she's not a problem to me yet bcoz i dun hev any grudges on her...but,i welcome ppl if they wanna see my worst bitch side...In fact,its not bitch,its witch...Evil witch...got it??? I guess my gerlz understand me well enuf...Get tat in ur mind.. A bitch flirts like a gerl and still fights like a gerl..I can be a lion tat roars, i can be a witch tats full of tricks up my sleeves and i can be a beast tat pounce...Watch ur steps carefully honey...Put her in SC and you will never see me cumg to Sc again...Trust my werds..Wen i sae it,i meant it..;)

X-Quisite & NCC....

Juz finished performance at ITE CCK tat dae...I'm relieved..i'm going to reali hev a long break..i wan to focus on my studies....Ncc??i'm missing Ncc so much..Though,i felt lazy or busy,i can't let it go..It has been wit me since SEC 1...Wen i'm alone, Even way before i'm attached, way before i graduate frm skool...Ncc has been accompanying me all awhile..12 december 2008,i made a vow to serve ncc as long as i'm still schooling and hasn't passed out yet...I can't juz throw away my commitment lyke tat..Prince asked me to leave Ncc..But,i can't..Somedae,i will bring hym into HQ if there's parade or invitation...:)I juz wan hym to noe everything bout me,bout my past,my current lyfe...One important thing tat most ppl dunno bout me...I mature thru Ncc,i manage my anger tru Ncc and i learnt bout discipline and responsibilities in ncc...I learnt how i muz wake up early no matter how tired or late i slept...I learnt how to be responsible fer my cadets under me...I learnt how not to misuse authority and i learn how to cope wit rebellious ppl..Tats y i can't leave Ncc..Its where i learn, i lead and i serve...

M. L.....

Hmm...wat can i sae??Busy wit current lyfe tat i dun get to mit them and talk cock...hahaha..okae,tiz thursdae yg penting kiter sumer nk gi Karaoke Session!!!nk nyanyi!!!yeah!!!i miss singing...lau matair aku tahu lagu melayu byk,aku da duet sak ngn dier..:(..hahaha..its okae,pelan2 kayuh...haha!!okae gerls,i mit u up tis thursdae aite..;)

RELIGIOUS TYME!!!!!!

Well,nuting much to sae bcoz i did not turn up fer last 2 week of madrasah..Last week,i went.Ustaz saw me and said,"aisah,dtg tk last week,tahu tk nari ader ape?"....i replied,"tk,saye saket..hee"....Ustaz said,"nari ader ujian bacaan ayat kursi tau..Saye tk test awak,Ustaz Hakim test awak..."...omg!!! ustaz hakim dalarh hensem dok, umor dier pon tkder jauh beza ngn kiter and one more thing tat i noe bout hym ..Though he is younger than my ustaz yg umo 23, my ustaz say tat his knowledge is much higher than my ustaz...Many look up to hym...i was lyke,shit!! malu la aku..Bcoz everytyme i walk into the door,he's alwaes sitting on the table outside the class..Wen he saw me,i look down,same gos to hym..We dun talk and smile at all...My adek told me,dier kecoh jgk...So,nk tknk, i hev to do the test...Wen i came up to hym,it was the first tyme he was smiling so broadly towards me..haha...Guess wat?? I got a grade A for my bacaan ayat kursi dok!!!hahahahaha!!!ishk ape je...

ok,so wat i noe bout Islam??hmm...

Ustaz says malaikat Jibril has 6 wings from wat they heard..one of its wings cover half of the earth..imagine all of its wings??gosh!! then he said malaikat nakir dan mungkar's job is to ask questions in kubur...If you are gud,they will appear so handsome and ask gently but if not they will appear in shapes of big dragon or snakes asking fiercely..If you are as normal,they will still cum in presentable way but they wil ask in a firm voice..too bad i lost my notes...haiz...so,tats the onli thing i can tell...For 20 and 27 June,i will be having holidae fer my madrasah...

Lyfe....

Hmm...so many things happen...Ferst,i'm not in gud terms wit mama at the moment...As usual,she never understands me...Freedom is all she can restrict..Though i lied to her all tiz while,i didn't do sumting bad tat portrays a bad image to my family...She still tinks i'm a small kid and she alwaes compare me to my cuzzins so tats why she wanna me to be better than them..if their mum gives a curfew up to 8pm,then my mum expects me to be home by 7pm... I once told my gerls tis.." alamak,kecoh sak nie org tua..Tgl pat tamp,tgl pat atas blok, lpk pat bwh blok pon cm uma aku pat JB gitu,dier nk mara2 suro alek cpt..mampos aku gini tau...Sekarang tkder freedom idop aku,biler la nk dpt freedom?? cpt2 kahwin pon baek..uruskn diri aku sendiri..."...Then,i tink wat i said again.."eh,lau aku kahwin pon,tk guna..skali laki aku control aku lagi mcm sial naseb..kimak!!!gini mati lagi baek sak!!!amek pisau tikam diri ke mkn ubat ke..paling afdal terjun.."...my frens all laughed..i told them once last tyme.."lau aku nk crk laki,aku crk laki yg tk control aku,yg samer jugak prangai nk kua mlm ngn aku,samer jgk suker lpk,rounding sini sana...jadi pape sumer le uat samer2...hahahaha!!"...

"Ok,Randomly ppl,I lost my wallet!!! Yes!!my wallet!!! I dunno wat to do..My mind is blank ryte now..I mean my wallet is everything where i go...haiz...got to make new IC,got to get back all the important cards and got to make new ATM card..haish...One burden by one burden never stop cumg..I hope i get my bursary money..Its fer me to fnish off my bike licence...tats more important than aniting else i tink..."

So, Back to my commitment with Prince..
Ryte now,I waiting fer hym to wake up to mit me in Tamp..I purposely doesn't wan to wake hym up bcoz i wan hym to be responsible...You hev to be discipline in your commitment ryte..And i'm one of his commitment...How serious is he??If he reali wants to mit me,then,he must be responsible to wake hymself up to mit me...Aniwae,he's not cumg dwn to tamp todae..Its alright, i guess i got my answer...Aniwae,we can alwaes mit next tyme...Haix...I tot of eating wit hym later and going to replace my Sim card..Nah...

Like i said "Love is A commitment ryte??..A decision".
Hmm...Well, we do fight but not to the extent tat we shout here and there and reali hated one another so much..We fight in a very cool way,quiet and low profile to me...Strange isn't it?? A Boy and a gerl tat has a veri bad temper but wen it cums to love fights,we are veri quiet,calm and soft-hearted...Haiz...Undefined...

Well, i cried fer hym so badly tat dae bcoz the way he treats me reali hurts my heart so much...I waited fer hym to eat after dance bcoz i noe he's cumg so i hold my hunger juz to eat wit hym...Then,bcoz of one sentence tat i said hurts hym so much..i said," u nie,i tnyer,bbl btol2 crious,u jwb maen2...MANELARH tahu ngn i pon u tk crious AGKNYER...."....He took it criously tat he doesn't talk to me...i waited fer hym fer 15 mins outside Causeway point toilet..i tot he left me n i cried..But,actuali he waited me juz outside the LADIES...Then,he smokes and didn't talk to me..i dun tink he realise i cried...After tat,he juz went bck home n i told hym i wanna stay there...Punyelarh saket hati aku..tkder perasaan ke ape jantan nie,he reali left me alone and went bck home...i was wrong bout hym..i tot he was the gentlemen tat came bck to settle things out though i'm upset and mad wit hym..but,he didn't. Tat nyte reali change my impression bout hym..i wanted to eat alone but Food Republic was closed..i was so disappointed tat i cried all the way in the bus and ppl all around inter saw me..So,i made a decision to go to his house and return his laptop.An was there sitting under the block wit hym..I salam an,put the laptop on the table..I wanted to go lau ikotkn ati..but,i still respect hym bcoz i treat hym like my hubby so i salam hym and kissed hym on the cheek.he didn't even care to look at my direction and look away wen i wanted to kiss hym on the forehead..after tat,i went to the bustop..Over there,i burst out crying..He came suddenly n i look down crying..he held my face up but i didn't dare to show hym i cried...he hugged me tightly and tats the ferst tyme i cried so badly bcoz of a guy....Then,he sent me off to Wdlands Inter leaving AN sitting under his block alone...At Inter,he suddenly put his necklace around me and i exchanged my jade and wear it fer hym..The jade tat i appreciate it and nver took it out frm my neck since the dae i bought it even during bathing..Too bad tat i lose his necklace at MARSILING JETTY on our 2 mths Anniversary...I'm still upset over it actuali..:(

God noes so many things happen..Though sumtimes, i feel so hurtful and disappointed wit hym,but i still love hym and hopes he change fer the better..I dun expect hym to change so fast..But,i believe he can...Even if anybody else has give up on hym, Even if anybody else knows he cn't change,i will still be by his side waiting fer hym to change.i will never give up hope on hym...

Ryte now,i teaching hym to improve his malay..Hoping hym to stop smoking...Wants hym to learn to wake up early, Teach hym patience,hmm...n i wan hym to practice his vocal to pull his voice fer high pitch bcoz i noe he can..he got a nice voice...I wan to teach hym to learn to eat fruits and vegetables step by step..asking hym to cut his long hair..Teach hym to save money and dun spend so much..No racing illegally..hehe..so many things more...Sumdae he will understand wen i'm not around hym..

All i want is not to make hym change fer me...If onli he noes,i want hym to change it fer the good sake of hym...he can't change fer me bcoz if one dae i died, i dun wan hym to go bck his old ways...

Tat dae,he says he wanna mit me but in the end he brings An..I told Lina,Imagine lau matair kau nk umpe kau, dier ckp sndiri tau dari mulot dier,lpas tu dier ajak kawan dier skali..ape kau rase??Lina laughed.."aku tk tahu uh ape nk ckp ngn ril.".....I dun hev grudges on Farhan nor did i dislike hym going out wit us..But,tis is me,i dun lyke Farhan to be left alone..Not onli An, all his frens..An ckp,"sya,jgn psal aku krg gado uh"...i was like," ya allah ya rabbi,tkla an.."....Tkder kne mengena pon psl An...Its juz tat i cnnt see hym walking happily wit me whereas hys frens are left alone..lau nk ajak an,ckpla siang2..biar aku bwk zura,lina skali ke..at least an is not alone..he said its okae,its juz a common thing btw hym and An..i dun care but the problem now,its in frnt of my eyes..haix,tk phm aku ngn nie dua brothers...-_-....i cied again tat dae...he's so stubborn,alwaes make me cry..i ever told hym tis...No matter wat,no matter how angry he is,i will still stay by his side..bcoz tats the way to teach an angry person..the more u leave hym,the more u scold hym,the more u fight,its not gonna end...mum ever said,"Api lawannyer ngn Air..lau dua2 api,smpai biler2 pon tk baek.."..

after tat,we joke calling each other KAU AKU juz like how we used to be frens..i was lyke,"eh kau tahu tk,hidop aku asik ungu kau je tau..dari aku kwn ngn kau,nk ungu kau sound aku ngn hint bodo kau,lpas tu kau matair ngn org laen,aku sabar je,pas tu kau nk contact aku alek pon susah,action tnyer soalan bodo pat dlm msg,pas tu nk ungu kau confess pon lmbt,smpaikn nk ungu kau sound aku pon lmbt..on the dae kau nk dtg umpe aku nk sound aku pon lmbt..aku ungu kau sini sane..siksa kau tahu tk??pujuk kau cm kau pompan aku laki..aku asik nangis je utk kau tau..pnat..haiz"...he hugged me and we joke pretending to be harsh.. u noe tat moment i realised how i reali love hym wen we joke..Then,after tat, he wanted to buy me a slipper and went to take me into a shop tat slippers cost bout more than 15 dollars!! For heaven sake,i never buy slippers more than 10 dollars sia..i insist on choosing slippers tat costs $7.90..
i dun wanna hym to waste so much money on me though i see most of my gerl frens bought alot of things from their guyz money..haix,i'm not materialistic..and i'm shocked baby wants to go shop at COTTON ON sia...normally,he dun go fer tat kind of shops instead branded shops..haix...i'm hepi fer hym though..:)

2 Months Anniversary has passed,

Marsiling Jetty is where we celebrate,

I'm glad tat we pulled thru...

Heavy downpour tat sadden up our face,

The hot sunrise tat lights up our red face,

and Sweet smiles and laughter tat brought us together back again...

tanx fer being there wit me

fading away the miseries tat i face...

Sharing the burdens tat came all the way,

Though you may not be the most perfect person,

my heart and soul will alwaes love you perfectly..

Its the most precious things tat i'm left with fer you..

Both of us search fer 19 years fer our soulmate...
At the age of 18,we found it..
But,onli at the age of 19,we realise it...

I believe the quote, "Onli tru care,concern and Love can change a man to bcum wiser, matured, patient and loving...:)"
"Every success of a Man lies a special woman behind hym..."..
He told me tis," yeah,frens are important,brothers are important,but 1 dae,can u marry them??"...i realised now why he prioritised his gerlfren much than his frens..

Everydae i misses hym the moment i parted frm hym...Wen its raining, i alwaes remind of hym...Tat dae,sitting by the bench on our Anniversary,i wanted to tell hym tiz but i forgotten..

"Baby,whenever u misses me or whenever u sees stars around, Alwaes remember to count the stars bcoz the one tat you count is how much u miz me & the one u misses me is how much i misses you.

And baby, whenever u sees a moon or a raining sky, remember tat i'm alwaes staring at your portrait,thinking of you..:)"

“Men always want to be a woman's first love. That is their clumsy vanity. We woman have a more subtle instinct about things. What we like is to be a man's last romance.”

Friendship Love:

" Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you."

I quote from sumone's blog stating tat;
" Its sweet when a guy remembers every LITTLE detail about you,
Not becoz you kip reminding hym but,
BCOZ THEY PAY ATTENTION....:)

A princess has alwaes dreamt of tiz.......
"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who wipe your tears tat shed, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep and finds you wen you go missing... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her..."

For years,

She searched for her soulmate prince,
Now tat she found hym,
" Dear Prince, I dun wanna lose you..
If I could reach up & hold a star for every time you made me smile,
Then I would have the whole night sky in the palm of my hand."

No man is worth your tears, and when you find the man who is, he'll never make you cry....
Everytyme u hold me in your arms,
You make me feel tat i'm in a garden full of roses..

And if u look deep into my eyes,
You will see...
Sparkles of hopes hoping tat
you will never leave me....

Love your partner like a husband and you will end up forever...

2010-05-27T02:13:00.004+08:00

Skool.....

hmm...wat can i sae bout skool??haiz...most of my projects are left behind..And,since dance prac is everydae xcept Tuesdae,I dun hev tyme to revise my studies.Gosh!Kid,You were not lyke tat before.And my projects are left behind.The werk done is like piece of shit.Trust me,i'm never like tat.haiz... i dunno wat happen to me, i get so stressed up..I reali nid to mend my ways.I got to prepare ETP project 1,2,3. My project 1 is alreadi like sum kind of junk..My project 2,i'm not sure wat muz be done..I cannot depend my frens to do it..My POM proposal n my lifeskill...nauzubillah bin zaliq...i'm speechless...

X-CUSITE!!!!

Stressed up bcoz choreography hasn't finished yet n Ms joei juz came up to me and said to kill one of my commitments...i can't,u noe tat..since sec sch,i got lots of commitments n i'm used to it eventhough i'm stressed n had migrains alot of times..if i dun turn up dance prac,i will feel guilty n afraid suffy n the crew will dislike me...haix...aniwae, watch me on stage ppl on 11 June!!! ;)

ML....

Gerlz,tanx alot bcoz u people cheer me up alot.I reali had fun laughing wit u guyz at nyte wen we all joke."Siak eh korg,suke eh tgk aku joget,uat benda bodo??ISHK APEE JEE!!!!hahaha!!I'm reali2 hepi tat u all turn up tat nyte even it was a last planning by me..Tanx to Ayn who msged me n remind me whether kiter jadi ton ke tk...Da lamer btol kiter tk kumpul cm gitu..watever it is,i felt great juz tat if the shipment tkder, we might play alot of games n talk together perhaps.Its okae,we can go out sum other tyme ryte??

And yes to IRa,kau degil nk mampos eh..aku tk tahu ape nk ckp ngn kau...UP to you..cikgu kau tk abes2 kol aku tnyer kau..aku kasi num faisal pon tetap samer jugak pe...Lantak kau uh eh ape kau nk uat..ingat dier tkkn slamernyer nk tanggung kau..I dun bother...-_-

Tat dae alin lpk wit us...strange tat dae byk bwk matair trun tiba2 plak...ika pkcik bwk,huda bwk,diana pon bwk kwn laki trun...had a great laugh wit alin...my prince joined us too...bestkn??hee...great tat he can mingle wit my frens...:)

yes again, ayn wanna resign frm her position....gerlz,plz pay up ur money asap oryte...i tink ayn da fed-up da...haha!!and biler agknyer krg nk siapkn design tu eh??aniwae,huda said nk gi prewn fishing ramai2...sumer bwk couple,krg agree tk??hehe....btw,too bad the dae after i lpk wit alin,syahiid trun...haiz,da lamer tk nmpk bro itam gue...pak itam/black da ader matair sey...lols...

RELIGIOUS TYME!!!!!

Well,i shall share wit people now sum of the things tat i learnt in MADRASAH....Ilmu patot dikongsi...tk baik lokek ilmu..:)

hmm....ustaz citerkn why alcohol is haram in ISLAM??the story is like tis...

zaman dulu, ader seorang hamba allah nie minum byk sampaila dier mabuk..lepas tu, dier menunaikn solat tapi dlm keadaan mabuk...lalu dier tnyer allah S.W.T...."ya tuhanku,adeke solatku ini diterima??"...allah berkata" tidak kerana kau di dlm keadaan mabuk"....doa2 yg dibacanyer sumer tk btol kerana dlm keadaan mabuk...lalu allah mengharamkn org Islam untuk minum arak sebelum sembahyg fardhu...tetapi, walaupun gitu,org islam tetap bole minum...but,bcoz drinking still bring sumone into a condition tat he's not hymself in quite a long tyme n caused hym/her tk khusyuk while praying, therefore allah mengharamkn sumer umat Islam untuk minum arak selama dier idop...

Well,ustazah ceritakn tis touching story bout y gerlz are so soft-hearted...Guyz are made frm soil..Whereas gerlz are made frm tulang rusuk lelaki..tats y guyz are alwaes stronger than woman n woman are alwaes so soft-hearted, cikit2 merajok,nangis....she said Rasulullah's wife, Aisyah pernah merajok dan setiap kali dier merajok Nabi muhammad selalu pujuk till she feels better...

n nabi muhammad pernah balik rumah lambat but he slept outside of his house...the next morning wen aisyah open the door,she was shocked to see her husband outside..she asked why didn't he knock the door??Muhammad replied," wahai isteriku,aku tidak mahu mengganggu tidurmu yg sedang nyenyak..isn't tat sweet,bknyer asik pompan je yg pujuk laki..haix.. n he is as caring tat he cooks together wit his wife...

Do u noe tat ur parents cannot stop u frm marrying a person's of ur choice?? haram untuk dorg larang anak dorg kahwin atas pilihan sendiri...ader hamba allah nie pernah dtg menghadap nabi muhammad..she asked,"wahai rasulullah, ibubapaku menyuruh aku mengahwini seseorang yang bukan pilihan aku,berdosakah aku jika aku menolak lamaran itu?"....rasulullah menjawab,"tidak,tolakla lamaran itu..engkau tidak berdosa'...people said marriage cnnt last if there's no blessings frm parents but u hev to noe why parents restrict you from marrying them...tats bcoz they are afraid tat person will abandon u or there might be problems in ur marriage..

Therefore,tat is why Islam said wen u look fer a wife/husband...

1st,look fer his religious ways...Jika dier seorang yg beriman,maka dier akan ikot cara islam dan hadith2 islam dan sunnah2 rasulullah..dier jugak penyabar dlm rumah tangga dan akan sering memohon pertolongan allah...

2nd,(fer gerls) look fer their money...they nid to oso tanggung ur makan minum n carry out his responsibilities well..

3rd,barulah kamu crk paras rupanyer yang manis..:)

ustaz ckp tahu tk awak,bahawa awak harus melarang kawan awak melakukan sesuatu yang terlarang dalam agama seperti makan makanan yg tidak halal atau minum arak??jika tidak bole ditegah melalui mulot like advise or scold,then stop hym melalui tangan...if let sae,u noe u fren hev the intention to buy alcohol,steal the money frm hym so he can't buy but you muz RETURN hym wen u reach hm wit hym...sekurang-kurangnyer kamu telah menunaikan tanggungjawab kamu menasihati dier...

people said watver tat u cannot do in world now n try to hold ur lust n desires on doing sumting tat god doesn't permits,you will get it in SYURGA...even if u wan to eat pork, or walk naked, even u dun nid to respect ur parents bcoz they might be the same age as you n they will be ur frens ..wat people want most in syurga is,you will get to see and talk to Allah face to face...

u noe wat, i melted like shit wen my ustaz bace al-quran wen he was teaching my fren...merdu ya amat suaranya...tajwid dier maut la sey...i wish one dae i wud be like hym who's gud in tajwid....i pnah ckp to mama tat one dae if i get married,i wanna berzanji...it means reading ur quran...hee...

LYFE......

Went to Sentosa wit yayang...tot of watching sunset tapi terlambat..sedihkn??haix...aniwae,watever it is, i alwaes had a great tyme whenever wit hym...maybe bcoz in love ryte...ppl said whenever ur in love,sumer nyer nmpk indah...hehe...Wats bothering my mind is gone wen tat nyte i talk to hym on the phone...he apologise...but,i dun mind..i never regret being wit hym,i made tat decision to be wit hym...tat is parts and parcels of relationship....

At his nenek house....

His sporting family tat i alreadi regard like my own...;)

out of so many guyz i contacted,i finally chose hym to be my boyfren..why??!! Aideel did everything tat a boyfie might want to do to his gerlfren...he msged me everynyte n never fails to send me swit msges...he never let a gerl fork out one cent wen he's out wit the gerl..every morning,i wud be so excited to check my phone bcoz he will send me any msg like swit msg or even juz to wish me gud morning even before i woke up..and he will talk to me like a fren like aku kau n play2 scolding me like a fren n after tat he will go bck to talk to me i you, i you...wen suggesting a place,he wud sae aniting tat is convenient n near to me..he upgrade hymself n take up a course wen i asked to..he stopped drinking and decrease smoking wen i advise to..he msged me every single sec even if he's with his frens and werking..n u can see it urself tat he alwaes send his gerlfren bck home to pasir ris frm his house at woodlands..he did all tat to me, tat u might tink like a boyfren but why the hell tat i dun accept hym???

Bcoz i believe n i trust myself..i trust my decision..i trust my intuition,my heart..eventhough you are not lyke tat,i dun regret bcoz i believe you will treat me better in future n last long..Even if you dun,i will alwaes pray fer..you got almost all the same things with me...

We got the same helmets without me realising it wen u were wit ur ex..we got the small adam's apple sticking out from our hands wen i try to find anyone on earth before tiz who got tat too but failed..we got mole on our chest and arm n cheeks..we got the pimple under our nose n at forehead tat tyme..we got the same house designs...our mother used to werk SEAGATE factory last tyme...we got same horoscope,we are bad tempered at home,we hev the same dreamhouse...we got the same attitude,we are mixed blood,we love bikes,we ate oreo and drink coke at the same tyme at our own home in coincidence...we got 3 siblings,we like racing,we like to hang out at coffeeshop,our father are mixed wit indian..we got almost all the same things and MOST IMPORTANTLY IS,WE TINK ALIKE...Like how ppl asked me,"how's ur boyfie??".."ouh well.how u see me,tats hym in me..He's my REFLECTION"...

A fren asked me,"you reali love ur boyfren alot huh??till wen sis??"...i replied,
"he's my ferst and the last..if we were to break up one dae,then i wait fer hym till the last point tat he's married to another woman..after he's married to a new lyfe,then i hev no choice fer me but to try to heal my heart n search fer another happiness..."

Sometimes you asked yourself tiz,"till wen do ur partner will love you??"....u were hoping fer a swit answer but u are alwaes unsure of their answer bcoz it doesn't satisfy you n u tot it was a lie...if god permits ur relationship,then it will end forever.. but,if not u will end up fighting,quarelling,dying or even maybe either one leaves the relationship...

mama pernah ckp kalau kau tknk anak kau bsk lusa lau da besar jahat ngn kau,then ape yg kau uat ngn makbpk kau skrg,kau akn tanggung yg samer...jadi,jgn suker menjawab lau tk suke dijawab.hehe...saw wit my own eyes how my sister anak jwb to my sister..padan muke dier..she treated my mum like tat kn..now,karma..:)

Love is lyke chocolates where most ppl like to eat it alot bcoz of sweetness...but,there are chocolates tat are bitter too juz like being in love...In love,Most of the tyme its sweet but there are bitter moments too..you juz got to swallow it...

Aniwae,i bought a red rose n plant it outside my house..you noe wat red rose got alot of its meaning..Hev u ever watch Beauty and the Beast??hehe...actuali, i love red roses alot...org tua2 ckp lau kiter anak dara mkn bunga ros,kulit bersih..hehe..lagipon,pat dlm uma ader 2 anak pompan yg masih dara lagi..Like old ppl said in pantun,"saye dtg nk sunting bunga mawar yg u noe.. ader kat dlm rumah"...hahaha...isn't tat swit?i love the traditional ways actuali rather than modern one..jarang pon org skrg pkai sirih dara,btol ckp indra dulu.lau org tu tk pkai,maknenyer phm2 jelarh..tapi,lau org tu pkai sirih dara n she's not a dara animore,the sirih will automatically on their wedding,akan layu or frm wat indra said, busuk...biaselarh,indra kn mak andam...lols...

Aniwae, watching sensasi teaches me alot bout love u noe..Watching cinta fitri,teaches me alot bout how the husband love the wife so much tat he dares to sacrifice alot fer his wife n hoe he listens to his wife to alwaes do the ryte thing fer the gud sake...how husband n wife cnnt be separated even tru evil means...

If anyone watched Bonda,then i tell u its the best drama tat teaches you who men are n how u hev to face polygamy in marriage...gosh,its reali difficult u noe fer husbands who go tru polygamy..but,serves them ryte actuali...haha..fren asked me once,"kau tk kisah lau laki kau kahwin lagi??aku tk sanggup sia!"...i replied,"then,kau nk watpe?if the love u gave to hym,he divided it to other ppl??isteri maner yg sanggup kasi laki drg kahwin lagi?nauzubillah bin zaliq...tapi,kau tahu tk betapa besarnyer pahala kau lau kau kasi??syurga tempat dier..."...well,i learnt sumting in BONDA...Cinta suami tk kekal,cinta pada dunia tk kekal,kiter akn mati jugak suatu ari nnti,cumer cinta pada allah je yg kekal..juz like RABIATUL ADAWIYAH...:)

Since i talked to Prince tat nyte after crying so much,he changed alot...yeah,maybe its me who wants attention...all i cud sae is he's my first priority...i told hym i juz wan hym to be how he used to wen we were before attached....after tat nyte,he changed to sumone tat is so caring n loving...i juz love the way he is now...he's back to studying u noe,copying notes juz like wen he used to during our times in BSE...

he tries to wake up early in the morning to go skool...and surprisingly,he sent me swit msges at nyte wen i was asleep!!!!hee,so excited..:)one thing tat i like bout hym,he alwaes noe whenever i'm upset wit hym n he wud apologise...he said apologise will tell ppl u are weak...but,our religion teaches us to be humble with watever situation we are in...tats y i prefer to apologise,

sedangkn nabi selalu mintak maaf dan memaafkn...:)

* If god permits, Wud you want to spend the rest of your LYFE wit me??

Love your partner like a fren and you will end up fer daes,
Love your partner like a boyfren and you will end up fer years,

Love your partner like a Husband and you will end up forever.....

He's my every breath now and then.....

Staring at his face each tyme,

" Will i be able to see tiz face everydae again n again in the future

each tyme wen i open my eyes??"

Compare to the past n now...Attitude towards you change....In future,might be the feelings too...

2010-05-08T17:33:00.005+08:00

Okae...sumone asked me to update my blog!!! haha,ok!!tiz is fer NaSzIra BiNtE YuSoF & NURULHUDA......lols

SCHOOL......

Duh..Entrepreneurship is boring...not forgetting the teacher too..As fer herman's class, the walk is so tough...We are the last grp in class...our teamwerk points hev been deducted...i'm not in position to sae anitink...but,deep down i'm reali disappointed tat i cried...You noe wen it cums to project,i'm so serious and demanding...I never said i regret having teamwerk mates lyke tat but i regret wit myself bcoz i'm not a gud fren who manages to motivate my peers...i failed. i feel so hopeless. if tiz continues,i cn't get an A fer my module..i cn't get 3.5 fer tis semester...If i can't get to poly,how am i gonna survive n how am i to continue my lyfe wen i'm the onli hope left fer my family...i'm juz so disappointed n i cried bcoz i live by the hard way...my lyfe is so difficult..all i wish is fer us to werk together n score better...

X-QUISITE!!!!!

We are preparing fer CCK performance and 8 of us are involved....Me,lina,zura,fifi,abu,hazifi,mahira and shai...tiring,whole body is so weak but i still go...my muscles are all strained...haix...aniwae,its fun wit mike,basirun,suffy's sister,adek lina and rembuction crew....yesterdae,had a fight wit watever the grp name is...bcoz of guyz, gerls can fight..bcoz of staring,ppl can fight too...Typical ITE students...haiz...i make jokes and laugh bcoz i noe i'm so bad tempered,tats the onli way to calm myself down....watever.....First tyme,aku npk bro aku,mike marah sey...walao,he reali stood up fer our rights sia...tat tyme,during the judge kutuk suffy at iTalent pon mike pekik,pala buto and get the whole crowd to rebel back...indeed the whole crowd was shouting," ooooo" at the judge...then,when that crew kutuk our crew pon mike stood up fer us again...wonderful uh kau mike..Prangai MIKAEL sia...lols...tanx alot mike fer all tat...the bottom line is kiter sound krg,troz krg diam pe??Takot???lols....suffy is passing down the grp leader to Mahira..shai n me to help out...bcoz he's going to NS soon...haiz,gonna miz hym...hope he change wen he's out of NS...

M.L..........

Yesterdae was fun..tanx gerl,u all came down to celebrate IRA's b'dae..she's the youngest among us...best tk Ira kne smashed cake pat muke???lols...aniwae, too bad tat ika pkcik cudn't join us bcoz she got to catch her flight to KL bcoz of her business wit shida...Miss u honey....had fun,we played games till bout 1 pluz in the morning...tot of going out yesterdae but the gerls said no plans...and i seldom go out late at nyte nowadays...maybe bcoz i'm alreadi attached...we plan on going out to changi beach and ton next sat...they said wanna get shipment and juz hang out...watver it is,da lamer da aku tk ton ngn krg pat beach,set up tent...bbl,nyanyi mlm2...nk gi sentosa ton tapi takot ayn tersampok plak....huahuahua!!!kali nie lau tersampok tkder aideel eh nk tlg....huahuahua!!!lols....ok2,so we talked bout lyfe and guyz yesterdae...n huda,stop it siak biler aku dgr reason kau break ngn matair kau...rbk pe...senang kau crk shipment baru, ship dier scrambler lagi....haiz...gasak kau larh...silap2 ari bulan, NEXT!!!!lols....aniwae, i agree on the phrase,"if a guy reali cries over her,he muz reali love tat gerl..".....cat told me bout Ahmad and her...its reali hurting coz ahmad has a gerlfren...n cat gets so mad at ahmad bcoz he still cnnt make a decision on who to choose, his gerlfren or cat...no matter how cat maki ahmad n scold hym all the werds pon,ahmad tetap sabar n doesn't wan to leave cat...how wonderful is tat...so many things ahmad did to cat tat i feel sad fer her....if ahmad is reali fer you,then he will be fer you..leave it all to fate dear...;) i tell her,"da,kau settle down in relationship cm aku sua.."...she said,"cm maner aku nk settle down, lau aku blom umpe laki yg baek...kau tlg aku uh,matair kau kn baek,tnyerla dier ader kwn dier ke nk recommend kn..."lols...

Ok,so, Gerlz Plz fer MOTHER FUCKER gudness sake, pay M.L fund to Ayn...dapat gaji sumer ckp nk byr,cm yeye eh krg eh...huda ader hati lagi nk gi prawn fishing...lols....next meeting on 4 JUNE,9pm....krg satu2 prangai apek aiskrim...suro dtg kol 8,dtg kol 9..suro dtg kol 9,dtg kol 10....maintain uh krg gitu,da besar pe...lols....last but not least,i reali had fun wit u ppl yesterdae...

And Ayn baek pe,"ALI BIOL!!!!"......huahuahua!!!!

Life......

Life is unfair...tats wat sum ppl said,like ms joei...even Ms joei chua cried in class yesterdae wit me,lina n zura wen she heard of my lyfe stories...i tried to hold my tears even wen i'm telling her all tat....

I'm worried of my lyfe now...My family is full of problems n burdens...I hate it wen ppl said they understand me..its juz so dumb and stupid..they won't understand bcoz most of them dun live by the hard way...Sum ppl luck are juz better than the others..i came out frm mama's stomach and since at the age of 5, i noe the meaning of lyfe..maybe its true wat adam khoo said," research hev found out tat those reali matured ppl cum frm broken families"....Living the hard way since small isn't easy..Mama and papa separated since i was 5...yarh,i agree. Ppl may said tat i'm frm deprived childhood. I dun get the things i want.. i dun hev papa's love, i dun hev a guy's love n tats how i learnt how to be an independent woman like mama...mama said,"Nothing is easy in lyfe, No one owes you a living.."....dad leaves us in a spot. tats how i learnt who truly men are...They can change feelings anityme,they can decide anityme,n they can chose to be cruel anityme they want n its wen u realise you can't depend on guyz...When you depend on them,its like your hanging on a thread..i witnessed how mum suffered n manage to stand up after the great fall..."The glory in lyfe is not in never failing but its in rising up everytyme we fall..."....kakak and abg was in prison tat tyme. No one understands how mum feels..all she do is cry alone and at the age of 6, i can onli cum to her and hug her..mama was a strong woman n up till now,she still is..n tats wat makes me believe i hev to be lyke her bcoz lyfe is unpredictable and unexpected..Till now,when i'm in difficulties, i cried bcoz Life has alwaes been reali hard fer me, mum and adek...sitting by the staircase,i saw my skool..i rememberd wat Ms Tasneem,my form teacher said during STUDENT TEACHER CONFERENCE...." omg...i didn't noe u had so much problems in ur lyfe aisah...u look so cheerful and laughing so greatly in class..u dun hev tat signs of worried...its okae aisah...in future wen u are in the verge of giving up,remember tis,"you are the one who hev to change ur family history..look back to ur family and ask urself tis, will you want to live lyke them or a want a better lyfe??".....With tat,she hugged me n my tears juz rolled down...

Sitting wit azura and Lina sumtimes,we talked bout lyfe and guyz...zura asked me tis ques,"i dun believe in marriage,do you?? i told her its not tat but i dun believe in marriage and relationships tat lasts...you noe wen you are married to a guy,its like ur life is at stake...Everything will be his decision bcoz he has the authority to n tats bcoz maybe he tinks he own us..Strange tat sum ppl hev been together fer so long but after they are married fer 2 to 3 years, their marriage are all wasted..everything crushed...Zura said,"apelarh nasib kiter jadi pompan nie...haiz..".....lols,and we all start to joke about how guyz reacted to the needs and demands of their wives before n juz married and after a few years married....its like we are reading their mind on wat they will eply to their wives...lols...

Sat again at Al-falah tat nyte, zura told me if azri will contact her if he were to break up wit his gerlfren....i told zura tiz," maybe...kau tahu tk...lau aku tk letak gmb aku ngn ril pat dlm tagged,if aideel were to broke up wit his gerl one dae, he will cum back to contact me n i'm reali sure of tat...juz not sure wen's the day...bcoz kiter dulu da byk kali ilang contact but after tat we contact back again...but,i purposely put ril pic and me bcoz i noe i found the ONE so there's no nid fer me to contact hym..."....dun worie zura, azri will cum bck to u one dae wen he's out of gerlz...juz dun fall fer the trap again..;)

Love is so complicated...i can onli share my problems to my gerls not more to my clique bcoz i noe my gerlz are not tat close to my prince....Lina told my prince i cried tat dae and she oso told hym i got migraine tat dae...i was reali upset wit her at canteen tat i almost cried..."can you plz kip it to urself and dun alwaes tell hym bout me??let me settle my own problems n kip it to myself,i dun wan to trouble him,plz....cute her,she became panicked wen i nearly cried.. n she said,"ok2,sya,tkmo nangis..aku janji aku tk blg ril lagi kae..aku diam je,da2,kau mkn kae...."...faz and adelyn laughed...lols...aniwae,adelyn quitting skool soon..i juz hope she dun...she doesn't cum frm a well-to-do family n its such a waste if she doesn't want to skool animore...haiz....
\

Azura said tis once to me,"dun let it eat u up even if u wanna be patient.."

* I juz feel sumting's amiss....They are ryte...Nothing remains as strong as ever..Everything change so do people n feelings...i hev got my answer. All i hev to do now is to smile and laugh...

Looking at the Heavy Rain outside now,make my heart sank even more...Tears rolled down.. i asked my tears,"why u came out??"...Tears said my heart has been scratched by the little pains i tried to stand.....Wiping it,In my hand,i told tears,"itz okae,its juz small scratches, i hev to be strong fer more if in future, it bleeds and break..."....

TO HYM, I MIGHT JUZ BE A PART OF HIS WORLD, BUT TO ME, HE IS MY WORLD..

I'm wiser than You expected...I may noe things tat you can never guess,its all bout pretending.."

2010-04-13T22:32:00.000+08:00

SKOOL..............

Well,i came late fer skool todae...shit bcoz Mr hirman was my EOP lecturer fer tis term...i hev worked wit hym n i fucking noe how is he n wats of his expectation...a gud thing i wasn't scolded juz now bcoz he noes me well..bukannye aku sengaje pon dtg lmbt..well,i may not like the way he werks but i hev to bcoz bout half of his class students last semester managed to get in to poly...Reached there n yeah gotta formed a group...so,my grp consists of me, baby, an, lina, zura, hilmi, yong qin, faz and adelyn...not sure of my new group but i reali hope everything goes well...Chose baby as leader bcoz i noe he's responsible...i'm so fucking gotta score 3.5 fer tis semester fer my Overall GPA...or else my cumulative/final gpa will be total shit..i'm reali left wit one option n tat is, to go poly...aniwae,my class advisor is Ms Joei chua...

Being an emcee totally freaked me out...my heart was thumping fast tat dae wen i saw bout 800 students in front of me but still i managed to get it thru...They laughed n they cheered so i'm glad they are attentive...But,april intake might be abit difficult to handle coz they are much stubborn than jan intake..abit difficult to get them on the ball..so,unlucky fer me i gotta be the security again fer this term at april camp...i gonna hev to stay up all nyte to sit in front of the toilet n do a spot check fer the gerls in case they smoke...and for god sake! i hev to handle those wit attitude problem..and worst of all, be an emcee again fer the camp..haish...

M.L........

Gerlz!!!! Check tiz Out!!!! The mask is wonderful isn't it?? I paint it black bcoz black shows hidden identity wit hidden personality...powerkn??hehe...hey, anyone care to design the mask?? i'm still looking fer a suitable one...Black and Gold peepz!!!

LYFE.......

12 April 2010, marked the dae i lose my virginity to SINGLE LYFE...hahaha!!! I'm no longer single...i'm happily attached to my FIRST LOVE, MUHD SHAHRIL BIN ZAINI aka RYAN NIL BOLTSTON.....He knelt down, took out a ring and ask fer my hand..Isn't tat wat i've alwaes wanted?? He's my PRINCE CHARMING!!!!hee... My fairytale story has not end yet..Now, i noe it has juzt began...Will my relationship wit hym last long?? Like some ppl, i'm still not sure of his love towards me....

All my frens are hepi n the single ones are worried wen they heard me getting attached.."sial uh, aisah da attached eh?? kimak,org yg tk pnah attached, da attached.".....so,tiz means you gerls pon da kne start crk org..hehe...

Prince hev hurt me wit his harsh werds..I'm hurt but i kept it to myself...I noe i may be wat he said but i still noe my limits n i dun go far....you noe my style, i'm never gonna say aniting to my loved ones if i'm hurt by their way...i will still treat them as gud as it n smile n make sure they will never trace a part of me being hurt...Some may sae its veri difficult to noe whether i'm hurt or not bcoz i'm alwaes putting a smile n i alwaes cared fer everyone....he apologised to me n i cried bcoz he said he've been a bad guy to me...i hev never thought tat way...No matter wat my loved ones did, i will never say tat n its difficult fer me to be angry towards my loved ones...n you noe i can't see a guy cry...my eyes will be teary or worst still,i will walk n look away...there's alot of me tat ppl hev still yet to reveal n i guess it will be in me....aniwae, i love hym so much fer the meantyme n i hope my feelings will stay there n not fade...People said tis, "TO ALL YOUR LOVERS OR EX-LOVERS, THERE IS NO, "YOU ONCE LOVE" BUT ITS EITHER YOU NEVER LOVE TAT PERSON OR YOU WILL ALWAES LOVE".....so guyz,even if u said u hate ur ex-lovers, you once said you love to them. So make up ur mind and think..its either you love forever even after you guyz parted or you realise u never love them at all...never said the 3 charmed werds unless you noe the true meaning of it...

Aniwae,lpk wit my gerls tat dae...then huda fren called n huda asked me to lie...the guy asked,"hie le saye ckp ngn huda??i replied, "ouh huda tkder,dier pegi toilet"...then,the guy asked,"dier patner nie skrg?"....i replied,"ouh pat tempat keje..aru je abes meeting"...then,he said,"ouh..ni sape nie? cute nyer suara...umur brape nie??"....then,i whispered to huda,"eh pantat! dier tnyer umo aku la sial..."....troz huda hang the line..hahaha!!!!huda said, kau jgn layan dier bodo,da start uh dier nyer gatal, tnyer umo nk knal2...desperate....hahahhaa!!!!all my gerlz laughed... then tadi,ate wit LINA at LJS...there;s tis one guy in white kip looking at me...lina bole joke lagi...aku ader tk selera nk makan org tgk aku je...i was fedup tat i told lina to block me from his view...duh!!sickening sia...

and worst still, i went to DND tat dae fer F&B students...danced fer them wit my mask on...there's tiz one particular handsome guy but gatal,got gerlfren alreadi mcm desperate gitu ask me,shai n lina to take off our mask...da knape??gatal na nk tgk muke pompan??......i dun understand wit some desperate guyz nowadayz....mcm2 hal sak happen since ari tu...byk sgt laki miang aku umpe...aiyo!!!tapi tkpe too bad, the two rings are together...~chachayie~

Btw, went to prince's nenek house again..asl aku gi sane je,aku nga uzur,tkle solat...nnti,nenek dier ingat aku maen2 plak...n i'm freaking upset with myself tat i cnnt solat bcoz i got mensus...i'm so like totally need HYM.....i got tons of problems i nid to tink..mum,financial,adek,kakak....migrain strike here n there but still i put on a smile n fake front...i alwaes got the restless feeling in me n wen i'm in tat situation,i got no mood...tats wen i'm afraid prince might be hurt...i got attached but i forgot tat i got lots of problems...i alwaes tell myself not to get attached bcoz my lyfe is full of problems....now,i'm afraid. i dun wan prince to get involved in my dark world wit full of problems...Wat i want is to make hym gain his smile bck again tat he used to hev....god, plz show us the ryte path n make our relationship last...i leave it all up to you....each tyme i prayed,i cried asking fer hym to last our relationship n may there be no problems tat arise...

* Stared at the window outside,

Will he forever be by my side??

I'm being haunted day n nyte by questions asking, " Will we stay long forever?"...

Afterall, he's now a part of me....