Why do they alwaes play with my feelings???My heart isn't made from a metal..

Skool...

As usual,lyfe has never been better for me..assignments pilling up...Final test fer 1st year coming..and i'm trying to maintain my studies even though i'm so much left behind..So many things happen actuali since the last tyme i update..used to update everydae but now i feel lyke as if once a month..I hev to complete my role play selling skills..Again,i hev to prepare the script for us.HRA??Gudness,i dun even noe where am i??Juz completed HRA project tat took months from last year..alhamdulilah..aniwae,yesterdae,faz had a fight wit a gerl from Jan intake..So,we went out from skul and talk things out..As usual, u noe i'm not into all tat.So,i stepped aside and listen to the arguments..I dun lyke to involve in fights..i hev left all tat ugly attitude way far back..And i told adelyn, i wanna prove to Aunty Jo tat i'm not tat bad temper since she predicted bout my handwriting..i hev learnt to control my anger.Maybe i hev bcum much more matured in thinking....talk wit Lina at the canteen on how i used to be so violent,rough and daring while in sec sch..i punched,kick,slapped,drag people,astaghfirullah prangai tk senonoh mcm jantan...but,i dunno why i changed so badly from the attitude i used to have..it all depends on the individual....ntah mcm anelarh hati Nuraisah Binte Mohd Adam boleh jadi lembut cam gini...haix...Aniwae,tat dae SE went to Singapore flyer..boring jugak sey..tkder pape nk uat pt dlm capsule tu..lau fer couple best la agknyer..btw,i'm up fer a fashion show,theme wedding costume..

class SE

itamnyer kulit kau aisah skrg..ya rabbi..

My clique..

Suffy and me...

Azura,muker seductive sey...lols..

M.L......

Last Saturdae,i went out wit my gerlz to Changi Beach...i noe tats a freaking place coz its where all the memoriez starts...its freaking hopeless..As i'm typing this,i still remember hym....aniwae,best!kiter mandi laut..but,i dun quite like bcoz sejuk sangat..ika bk,cat swim quite a distance..Air tengah pasang plak tu..and i stayed near ashore..i cn't go far away bcoz my heartbeat wasn't tat regular tat moment..so,if aniting happens pon, i won't be able to swim far...after tat,i went to sit wit Ayn at tent..Ayn told me Amer wants to go back wit her...i told her its up to her..but,any problems,dun cum looking hepl frm me..wat i predicted is alwaes right.i predicted about her IZAT, AMER and FAZLIE....by looking at their face and attitude,i noe how a guy is like..Amer told ayn tat we influence her and if they were to be bck together,it won't be fer long...I told ayn tiz,"eh,xcuse me..kau ckp ngn jantan keparat tu,kiter stop kau..mase kau ngn dier pon,kau jarang trun umpe kiter,ntah kau maseh kwn kiter ke tk tu tyme,aku tk byk ckp tau..aku diam jer kau spent most of the tyme ngn dier..lepas tu,biler kau gado,kau trun umpe kiter mengadu naseb"....kau ngn ira samer,2 kali 5 dol...gado ngn matair crk kwn...kwn jugak btol tk....and ira plak,slalu ponteng skola....can u imagine ira call me asking me fer help to act her mother to talk to her teacher??wth....aku tlg dier jugak..lepas tu biler ajk kua,ajak lpk,muke dier tkder..mostly pat uma sape,faisal jugak...Lantak korang...i was pissed off wen full house came down tat dae to lpk except fer IRA BIG....tk ke bingit tu??Ika bk,ika pkcik,diana,ayn,cat,huda and farah was there..all the M.L turn up...haix...

To my M.L, I love ya guyz no matter wat freaking,bitch or irritating attitude u got..bcoz u guyz understands me the best...Plz maintain tiz friendship tat i hev built fer years and dun let it fall apart..If i were to be gone one dae,the next leader who take the lead,solve conflicts fast..Sacrifice your happiness fer your frenz...Tats the responsibility you shud hev..Avoid favouritism and accept your frenz fer whoever they are..Nver leave them out n never let one of them shed tears...No matter how flirtish ur frenz are, you shud never leave them out..Tiz is an advice to you guyz bcoz no one will be there to remind you..Remember the one tat you leave out will be the one tat will be there fer you when you actuali least expect it...there's alwaes room fer improvement..its up to you..Never listen to wat other ppl has to say bout ur frenz to break the friendship bcoz alwaes hev thiz mindset tat everyone bitch bout everybody's back..Strengthen the bonding wit our frenz..tats the onli assets we are left...

ika bk,ayn,me and azwin

ayn and me being random...

sajer je kid nie...asal bole jer naek basikal org..

otak kuning!!!!lols..

LIFE..........

hmm..how's lyfe???Veri bad..i'm speechless ryte now..1001 things running in my mind..My mind not in stable condition..All i can say is i'm heartbroken fer ryte now..Why do guyz alwaes play wit gerl feelings???They are never honest wit their werds..n why do they alwaes deny the facts??i'm sick and tired....i shed tears fer sumone tat i dun tink i shud..i'm lucky god save me before i fall for you badly..told sufian before the OGLS meeting at the canteen bout hym..suffy hugged me,trying to calm me down..he's like a sibling to me..I love my Sc ppl...they are the ones alwaes put smile to my face..To imran oso even though he got a fucking irritating attitude,asik kacau aku jer,but he made me laugh..lols...ya allah,plz give me strength..aniwae,i hasn't found a job yet..btw,i wen to east view 2010 CCA FAIR!!!!!!
and tat are my lovely toodles,my beloved cadets!!!

Btw,tis sun, i'm going fer prac 2..and yeah,i'm applying job at IR...and i'm worried!!!!!IT talent competition is approaching!!!!!6 feb at ITE simei....haiz...stressing to remember the steps man!!haha..aniwae,guess wat??Mr beach added me up at facebook recently,tapi tk bbl uh..haha..aniwae,hmm..i'm missing ncc...In march,there's gonna be Blaze Camp...and There's specialist course in march too..hope its not clashing...guess wat??i'm involved in BEACH FIESTA tis sat!!!!Participate in TOUCH FOOTBALL!!!lamer aisah tk maen sports sejak keluar sec sch..i miz sports but too bad i rejected SPORTS MANAGEMENT AT ITE SIMEI....ITE SIMEI not a place fer me i guess..if i were to go in there,byk sangat org knal aku smpaikn tat tyme i accompany my fren to tat place,skejap2 org tegur..tats y i wanna start a new lyfe in West side..Better to be low profile i guess..EAST SIDERS are so much different than WEST SIDERS...u wanna noe why???ask me,i will explain it to you...haha..i nvr regret cumg to west side..onli tat i tink if i take sports management,it might be better fer me..Too bad,Stamina's goin down and suck it to my Irregular HeartBeat...btw, i cancelled the brainscan..i guess its not impt..maybe sum other tyme...btw,i'm reali pissed off wit Aideel....He can still like my shoutout post tat tyme..dier tk tahu aku bingit ngn dier n mostly everything i post,i learnt frm wat i hev gone thru especially wit ppl lyke hym..Prangai umo 28 sak!!!!

btw,talked to sum Sc students bout tat liar...they said,"ala,FT students sumer samer prangai!!!tk bole percaya dorang!!"....i guess they were ryte...

**  I thought you noe tat Friendship needs Integrity and honesty..But,u lied...I hate Big liars!!!You are being a hypocrite....strange,u said tat u dun hev any chemistry wit her??n u dun hev tat spark feelings animore wen ur with her???Then,why are you being a JERK still goin on a relationship and patching up wit her??And you are the one who ask fer the patch up...aren't you hurting many people???you are playing wit ur gerlfren feelings....its up to you..i got no say to you bcoz i realise i'm not anione to you...how can u say that you hev no more feelings fer ur gerl???Do you even noe wat does love means in the first place??ur gerlfren such a nice lady..strange how guyz like you can juz stop loving a gerl wen tat gerl has gave all her heart to you...i'm mad wit you but i hev to agree we are still frens,CASUAL FRENZ...We will talk juz like how i talk to ur other frens,not thru phone animore..i get it straight to you tat i live by my principle,i dun lyke to contact any ATTACHED guyz..Once i said a last msg, i mean it..Disappointed in you..We will start back as frenz like how we are at SDC...i regret trusting you,i criously regret..Tanx,u prove to me,guyz are like "tat"..Till when will u realise???Go ahead continue wit the lyfestyle u wanna live wit..

**She's forever unlucky...Alwaes fall fer the wrong guyz..Guess she will hev to live by tat fact....

Remember,wen we gerlz rejected ur love,there's alwaes a reason behind all tat besides the looks...Sum ppl rejected their love bcoz sacrificing it fer their own frenz..

If my frenz like you,i guess i will hev to take a step back...I'm sorie IF i were to reject you..If onli you noe wat my heart says,then it won't be a pain to you..

**Though she's not hepi bcoz of wat she's facing,she will still smile fer the sake of the people around her....**

The reasons why i'm not in relationships....It can take years fer you to wait fer me...

SKOOL,WORK,NCC....

Well,life has been so much busy lately...I'm so busy with January Intake Events..Now, i guessed everthing has passed now..hate skipping classes...CCA fair, DnD  and JAN intake camp is over!!!!Alhamdulilah...Congrats to the DND team..we had fun...aniwae,i oso apologise to Shakir for sum personal mistakes tat i've done...i felt so guilty..it made my whole dae down...btw,i quit my job at seoul Garden,dun ask me why..Siti told me not to bcoz there are lots of my frens there like fai,azree,SITIs,nursya...i dunno,i'm confused..i nid to find a new job soon..financially broke sia..tsk..tsk..haiz and lesen moto saye pon tersangkut..lols..

I went to ncc training tat dae at my former skool and helped out wit the cca fair practice..Part Cs going fer specialist course soon and i'm worried,my sis is one of them..i can't possibly leave them bcoz i made a vow during my POP tat i hev to lead my cadets fer future leaders..i lectured my specialists eventhough i sounded like makcik,i knew i hev to wake them up..

hmm...hey,i'm joining "I talent" for dance..its open to all ITE students..its been a long tyme since i participate in competitons other than performance since i'm out frm Andreas group,"chaos personified"..My passion fer dancing has never fade..Arts has been my true love and it has never broke my heart before..

DND was fun with everybody teasing each other,"prangai bdk gemok and cikit2 nk marah..."...We are like one family living under one roof..i guessed we shud reali hev more of tat kind of bonding..

well,tiz are sum pictures frm DND Chalet....

During the TRUTH or DARE...

BBQ TYME!!!!

SUFFY, IMRAN AND IZZAT

Dhurgaes,atikah,suliana,syairah and sahrifah..

Prangai Student Councilors!!!!eissh3!!!

In the morning,having breakfast without bathing...

Jo kilat like a drag queen...there are suppose to be izzat pic as well but tat bdk gemok!!deleted his own pic..grr..

Despite tat swimming pool is out of bounds fer us,we still swim...haiz...tiz is wat i say a gud example of a bunch of student councilors!!!!lols..tanx fer putting a smile on my face..

TO ALL OGLS FER JANUARY INTAKE CAMP.....

It was fun knowing you guyz....Especially the FT students...staying up wit u guyz really made me laugh the whole nyte..You guyz are a bunch of cute clowns..lols...i dun mind havin sleepless nights juz to talk wit u guyz..To the volunteers,tanx fer helping us wit some of our classes.. hate saying gudbye to you guyz,i wish there will be tiz kind of bonding again..love ya guyz alot!!!!And love my class ,OD!!!!i apologise if i was a bit harsh to you guyz...i reali love you guyz..i'm not the type who expressed my feelings and i'm alwaes strict on you guyz but deep in my heart, you are alreadi like my siblings..muakzz to you guyz!!!

LIFE.......

I'm missing my gerls...They are busy searching fer Valentine dates on Valentine day...i'm missing their jokes..and suck it,my throat hurts...i cn't talk so much,doctor said its swollen..i hate taking antibiotics..wen its gonna recover??i wanna sing!!!grr,my voice sucks now..grr..well,hev i told you?i lose contact wit MR beach..yeah,oK tats it,i'm speechless..forget it..i'm worries bout my licence..i hev to pass it before i move on to CCK skool...i cnt' possibly go to skool everyday taking mrt..but now,i'm stuck financially..Life is reali sucking my blood..i'm feeling down..i'm at a spot..i felt so demoralised..

Why am i not in relationship????tats exactly the questions tat everybody has been asking me..

Reasons;

1. I'm busy.i got lots of responsibilities. i'm lacking of tyme.its killing my brain with all the problems.

2. I'm too sociable and i'm close to juz anibody..if there is,my guy is gonna get jealous..

3. Mum doesn't reali lyke me to hev boyfrens bcoz she wants me to focus on my studies..i'm her onli hope left..i dun wanna disappoint her. i cudn't let her noe i'm contacting any guyz bcoz she will hev diff. perception on me.i'm still struggling to gain her trust..its difficult to find guyz who are reali understanding..

4. I'm the leader of my gerlfrens.i cn't possibly leave them with boredom and problems.i'm their love doctor and i feel the saviour to protect them..i cn't possibly spend tyme wit other ppl when they nid my company..bcoz they are the reasons i can still smile todae..

5. We can't force love...i told myself i hev moved on but my heart still reminds of hym..i believe he will cum bck one dae and i cn't possibly juz break someone's heart if i were to go bck to hym one dae...so far,,there's no one who can replace hym coz none are like hym.. 

*Yellow means friendship and tis is fer you... I hope you are not serious bout us..and i hope you are not putting any hope...i hev put hope and i noe how it feels if it ends up aching...To me,its better off if we can be frenz...i wud be so much grateful if u wud treat me onli as fren..i apologise...

* Do u noe how it sucks each tyme i saw ur pics in my tagged and facebook??do u noe how it sucks wen i see tat gerl i knew is wit you??and do u noe how it sucks wen most of the songs in my phone reminds me of you??and do u noe how it feels wen everywhere i go,ur shadows kip haunting me??it hurts...wen i take a second look,it wasn't you..do you noe how mean i am wen i compare to all guyz i noe to you??u made me like a bitch u noe tat??i showed protest to guyz juz to take revenge on ppl like you...

i cn't go back to my old lyfe bcoz i'm stucked wit my current world...you took my heart away and lose it,i hev no heart to love anyone else now...

I never change...Its you who changed me...i'm still the gud gerl you ever noe...

LIFE...

Sorie...its been daes since i last update....been so much busy wit stuffs...

Aniwae,i wanna wish...

HEPI NEW YEAR 2010!!!!!

to every single soul out there.....

SAY GOODBYE to 2009!!!!So much tings have happened in tat year...Laughter and sorrows tat killed me..The year tat we met sum "LOVELY" people and oso the same year we lose that "SCOUNDRELS"....The year tat gave us lots of burden....I wish 2010 will be a new,peaceful year fer me.For god's sake,please give me some ease and peace..

Well,so many tings happened...first i went to SINGAPORE IDOL wit ayn!!!!!!

I LOVE SEZAIRI MAN!!!!lols..

So,here are the pics of me and ayn!!!There's more in tagged and facebook!!!

So,of course we guessed correctly...sezairi won!!!!

we were so anxious waiting fer the results tat we shouted at the top of our lungs wen he won...the next dae,me and ayn lost our voice...haix...lols..

Aniwae,SO WHERE DID M.L CELEBRATE THEIR COUNTDOWN???!!!!!

ANS: MAYA!!!!lols...

Here are some of the pics.....*wink

Sempat dorg amek gambar pat uma aku..haix...ayn,cat,diana

My oily face bcoz of dancing..gudness,we sweat sia...ayn and me..

ayn,cat,diana,ira big,ika bk...

ika bk,cat and diana..

Diana's frens....strange i actuali forgot to ask her name tat nyte..lols..

ayn,ira,me and cat...pity ayn face cnnt be seen..lols..

ayn,me and farah,a new fren frm ITE Balestier we met over there..she's regular at maya..

Here we are the M.L...

Well,tat nyte,ika bk and diana drunk with diana's fren...As usual, me,cat,ira and ayn  neither smoke nor drink...We watched the cute guyz got drunk and their funny attitude...diana and cat danced wit some cute guyz...Told them,i'm not tat interested in mat club...hahaha....Most of the tyme in club,i wud eye on a guy sitting quietly by the corner enjoying hymself,doesn't care how others wud think of hym..tat nyte,we seriously danced to the groove...Msged Mr Beach...he celebrated it at siloso beach...asked hym how's the cute hot chickz at sentosa??he told me he's not interested too,he came there juz to enjoy hymself...i enjoyed clubbing bcoz i love dancing....but,at the same tyme we hev to take care of one another...i got panicked wen i didn't see cat on the dancefloor...diana pulled cat quickly wen she realised the guy dancing wit cat was up to sum mischief,u noe hanky panky stuff...aniwae,ika pkcik did not tag along bcoz she was at siloso while huda has to follow her guy at Boat Quay too...btw,surprising wen i got to noe Mr beach dun drink..juz hev this tiny winny problem..he said he lose interest in studies and tats why he doesn't want to continue his studies..u noe tats my biggest principle..Let me tell you wat my relatives,my family and other ppl expect bout my boyfren...my future guy must be the same standard as me or higher educated than me....bcoz they noe i hev high ambitions and dreams..well,aniwae,mr beach's a veri honest guy tat he told me bout his bad lyfestyle and i guess tats wat important in friendship and relationship..

2010 RESOLUTION BET!!!!!!

Every single soul tat regard themselves as one of M.L...

• 
  
  Find a date by 14 February 2010,Valentine day...
  
  
  

If not, they have to face the penalty on that dae outing in front of their frens and the dates....

• By 31st December 2010, the last woman standing single will have to face penalty on the countdown place...

Ehem,well,i still yet to complete my HRA project..my clique hasn't done theirs so i cudn't start any bcoz i nid the research..haix...Gotta prepare fer DND...Gotta prepare fer January Intake camp...i'm so excited to cum back fer skool but at the same tyme,i'm seriously lazy..lols...ayn too...i still prefer sec school...aniwae,i wanna thank my frenz coz they made me feel so complete...tanx fer the laughter...ok...gtg,i gotta pray...


*Sometimes you hev to run away,
so you can see who will run after you..
Sometimes you hev to talk quitter,
juz to see who's actuali listening..
Sometimes you hev to take a step back,
juz to see who's still by your side...
Sometimes you make a wrong decision,
juz to see who's there when all falls down..
Sometimes you hev to let go the one you love,
juz to see if they love you enuf to come back...

Ayn asked me this question..
"How isit to love sumone so much tat you noe he will leave you one dae???

I answered..."the feeling is so pain tat you suffered while being with hym knowing tat fact and even after he left you,you can never forget hym,alwaes wishing he will be back with you again..Where everywhere and everything you do,u can see his shadows...

To heal a Broken Heart..you need courage,patience and strength....

LIFE......

ok,i noe i suck in tat pic...lols..Well,been daes since i update...so,hmm...yeah,i pass my prac 1 finally....lembab ya amat aku nie..tapi,tkpe aku mmg gitu pon..hmm...i failed my prac 2 yesterdae..failed to check blindspot and motor asik stall jer..eiish!!took prac 2 wit taufiq frm 57th intake...both of us failed..he never check blindspot while i nearly got knocked down by a car...lols...

My frens...aniwae,tis whole week,we are so busy wit doing henna on each other...i did two on my leg and one on my back..i did fer farah's nye cuzzies..they paid me and diana..haha...aniwae, on FRI,i went back at 5am ngn cat,ayn and ira..after tat i did kuih Tart fer mum's fren order until 7am..then,i went to sleep wit cat and ira while ayn play computer...it was reali fun tat nite..kecoh ya amat..great full house except fer zahirah...everybody turn up and u shud noe wen we gerlz gather,we did all crap and nonsense things..kate bdk M.L kn??btol tk??lols...so,on Wed,we hang out at Blk 431..da lame tk hangout at there..we didn't lpk at Sun tat nyte..Cat know tiz eurasian guy frm Tagged,JONN...so,he came down wit his fren,Ayil tat nyte..We joke here and there...i teased about Ayil's teeth..aniwae,it was nice meeting them..He said tat to us too...he joked,"alamak,cam tknk balik pulak..best uh..naseb baek kau klakar,kecoh aisah,lau aku tk knal cam nak bagi nyer muke kau.."......WTH??lols...a gud thing they can take jokes..yelarh,kite gurau kasar giler sey wit our werds..we juz speak our mind...aniwae....i did contacted a guy who i called MR Beach...i dunno why but it seems tat i dun feel aniting wit hym..he's gud looking,gud guy,veri honest wit his werds..but,sumhow,i told my frens,i dunno why i dun feel like knowing ppl..perhaps,i still remember of the old Love.... a pain though...got to noe Guss broke up wit Tijany after so long in their relationship and he's got a new gerlfren...i still remember he's the first and onli guy tat i talk on the phone fer so many hours...after he was wit Maisa,i drifted myself away frm hym...i dun lyke to get close to any attached guyz and tats how i am..

Well,tat dae talked wit ika pkcik,diana and Farah and Farah's younger brother pasal KAHWIN.....lols...They bet if who's gonna get married first in our bunchiez....First,it cud be IRA, followed by Zahirah,Ayn,,simah,Ika pkcik,Ika bk,..Last of course muz be me,Diana or Farah...i told them my DReam wedding...lols...cerewet sey,laki aku mesti geleng kepale nyer..then,they said since Ira paling muda,if she marries, all of us hev to sing fer her wedding...lols...Diana and me still going fer DEGREE..we still wanna enjoy and travel around countries...As fer FaRah,if she marries,she will be the WANITA MELAYU TERAKHIR......hhahaha!!!Aniwae,i wanna buy clothes fer DND..Theme will be OLD SKOOL...hmm,wat shud i wear??

TO MY CLIQUE.....

Plz submit ur assignment to me by 31 December...





To M.L Bunchiez....

Plz be reminded to pay up the chalet money to me by 31 December..

COUNTDOWN IS CUMING!!!I'M IN THE DANCING MOOD!!!
Any details about countdown,i will update again..
Theme : BLack

Strictly NO SKIRTS and DRESSES are allowed for those who are single
except for those who have their partners...You shud now wat i mean..There will be lots of wild crocodiles on tat dae...



So,i'm werking on tis Thur and Fri morning...haiz...tired...There will be matriculation tomorrow at skool...aniwae, asked ira to choose my skool fer Jan intake next yr...at least,i'm not bored..haha...hope she gets in to my school...Abah selling his house and migrating soon...perhaps,CANADA,SRI LANKA,SWITZERLAND or maybe AUSTRALIA where my RELATIVES are there...i cancelled the trip to Melbourne bcoz of sum Family issues..Especially,mum now wit her tangan yang patah tu...she cnnt do so much things and the onli child tat can help is me..my other siblings is useless...FUCK THEM!! I'm getting readi to scan my head next year...
aniwae,i'm glad now i hev my frens to fall back...i cn't forget hym...but,i noe tyme will heal...i hope so..My frenz are there wit me...They are heartbroken too but we try to get over it fast..




* You are the Reason tat i can't get myself wit another guy no matter how hard i try...Ur shadows keep haunting my Life....Why do Guyz alwaes leave a scar in our Heart???They make us difficult to decide....I swear if tiz is wat u want,then you will never see the same old KID animore....

I misses someone tat i dun tink i shud...

Life....

I went wit Ayn tat dae to Seoul Garden...Both of us are like dating couples..and Guess wat she saw??She saw Aideel wit his gerlfren inside the MRT while waiting fer me at the platform...She said wen aideel saw her, he hide his face away..Ayn said,"naseb baek aku yg nmpk dier,lau kau yg nmpk,lagi sakit hati"...i told her,"lau aku terror,aku da tikam dier dari blakang sak,haha...siak nyer tua,sakit bdk..lols.."...yes,i'm mad..indeed,pissed off. But,one thing i knew,is to get over it and laugh happily..why shud i bother??Life has to go on..Not everybody are fated to get sumone good..Though i know it takes tyme to heal a broken heart, i believe everything happen has a reason..Aniwae,went to 58th CADET OFFICER COURSE POP on Fri nyte..It was great..i realise i reali smile and laugh wit my ncc frens..With them, Lonely is juz the word i cudn't pronounce..took pictures with sum of them..

2nd Leftenan Khairul and our recent ORD 3sgt Farhan

Me wit them...East district Spec and officer..Be missing them after their ORD..

The LEOs!!!Anthony and me. and i alwaes look gud wen i take pictures wit hym..lols..

Me and Sool frm West District...

Najib and me...he's tall isn't he??

AH WEI!!!!Mother of the East...She's frm 49th intake since i was in PArt A and hasn't pass out yet..She's our advisor now..

Some ppl said we look alike sumtimes...Me and khalis..

At Simpang Bedok after the POP...

LAstly,u guyz brought laughter into my lyfe..East District!!!

Talk to my specialist,Huda bout my cadets..I told her,its either syazwani or her will be the USM AND ASM....Ma'am n me still making the decision..I told her if watever the results will be,whether its her or syazwani tat will be in charge,i dun wanna her other specialist to conquer them..I told her i wanna her and syazwani to be firm with their decisions and there's alwaes my number fer her to beep..its ok if her bestfren,Nury hates her..afterall its ncc..Tk sumer org puas dgn pangkat yg drg dapat..i hev been tru her on how my platoonmates hates me wen i was goin to be the acting USM..until i even fought wit my own bestfren..I remembered calling my former USM and pleaded her tat nyte not to make me as the USM..In the end,i became a specialist..Afterall,i became the RSM too..the conflict is fer a while onli..In the end,you can see it fer urself,none of my batch went fer CLT course and extend their service.. i make many frens frm outside and i dun regret..The obstacles i gone tru while i were in NCC reali teaches me alot..The tears tat i shed more than the laughter while i was on the journey to be a specialist and even after tat..But,after i bcame a CLT,the tears were paid bck by the laughter..and tats why, i can never forget my journey tat matures me..Huda,it looks like u shall follow my steps..U reminded me of my Ma'am Hafidzah wen i was in PArt A..

Me wit one of my specialist,Huda..I'm proud of you my dear..i can onli depend on you and syazwani to lead my cadets...and i shall see you in 60th cadet officer course...may u shine and hope to see you as the best cadet in tat course..Dun forget to ask me if u nid help in anyting..Gud luck in ur o'lvl next yr..

Went to Ncc meeting on saturday morning.The new EAst OIC now is ZQ and 2IC is SADIQ..Btw, I failed my prac again...arrgh!!!!!!kau bodo ke ape kid??i was reali pissed off..can't accept the fact..i did nuting wrong..my braking and my speed control was ok..if i did not get the chop fer cornering, i wud understand..but,i did ok fer my braking and speed control compared to the rest..i did not fall compared to my two frens..kanasai.i'm goin again on cumg thursdae..Sickening!Wasted my money fer Prac 1 onli..grr...mcm nk tapak jer muke instructor cina tu..

*Where shud i pour the sorrows??

My frenz kip teasing me..kip turning on all the songs tat reminds me of you..

They dun understand how everything came about..

Izit my fault or izit juz you tats blind though its clear??

You dun understand how i portrayed my feelings towards you.

Izit me who's late or isit you who juz did not try to ask me again??

I joked wit you almost everydae..

I said i love you,you took it as a joke..

U didn't bother to ask fer a second tat i was serious..

You did not care to ask again..

I shud not hev fallen fer you..

I hate to hev met you in the first place..

Now,i miz waiting fer the person to msg me..

i miz getting excited wen i saw ur name on my phone screen

I miz the person waking me up in the mornin fer skul knowing tat i will be up late fer skul bcoz of msging hym all nyte..

I miz the person who alwaes call me makcik..I miz the person i alwaes call hym atok..

I miz the person who jokes and listens to everything i hev to sae.

I miz the person who alwaes gave me support wen i'm down wit problems..

I miz the way how you were patient and understanding towards me..

I miz the person who said tat i dun hev to wear lens to look cute bcoz i alreadi am..

I was playful...I never want to fall in love coz i noe i wasn't strong unuf to take the blow..

Now,tat it has to end tiz way, i needed strength to get over it and be my usual self..

All my lyfe i hev never regret rejecting and leaving all those guyz behind...

Strange coz tiz is the first tyme i felt regretful over you...

U told me once,"hahaha..pai bile2 i ni secret admirer you tau.."

and i still kip ur msg..

Now,i tink i lose my secret admirer...coz he's found his new admire..Shud it be a secret animore??
i can't read ur heart..

I guess the answer is wit you..

Never say you love wen you dun even noe the meaning...

LIFE.......

I'm so stressed up over here...I had to do housechores before i go for werk..After being so tired and having a bad dae being scolded by my manager at werk,i went bck home and my house in a total mess...i nid to clean it up again...pissed off wit mum..she's not cooking at all xcept for the balance food she brought bck frm business...she spent almost everything at the shop..i nid to sweep,wash dishes, wash n dry the clothes at the kitchen...my sister not doing aniting at all n i nid to clean the living room and bedroom..even the toilet,i hev to wash...i dun even hev tyme to study at all tat dae..it was lucky for me tat i was able to absorb everything bout the chapter in my mind wen i was otw in the MRT to skool fer the SVE test...i feel like a total idiot at home wen everybody is sleeping while i stayed up and clean the whole house...wat the hell am i facing in my lyfe now??i werk,i skool,i clean the house and i hev to take care of my niece and nephew while my elder sis followed my mum to the shop..My lyfe is a such a pain,do you realise tat?I got no one to turn to xcept to cry in the middle of the night...

There was a Gerl who never knew about LOVE until One Day,a boy broke her heart....

Bella met Zack for the first tyme tat nyte at Changi Beach. She was so mad and tired after a 3-day camp. If not bcoz of her fren, Scarlet, she wudn't have came down all the way there wit Lily and Erin. She pitied Scarlet wen they had their conversation tat afternoon on the phone..

 SCARLET: " Come on bella,plz...i want you to see tis guy.His name is Zack,26 and he's a Libran..I was bored.So,we decided to ton over here fer 3 days..plzlah help me,my hp battery running low.I nid you to pass me the batt & charger.plz...."

BELLA: " Wat??u ton over wit a guy tat u dunno??Are you crazy or wat??Is he a gud guy or not??hey,i'm reali tired ok..i wanna sleepla..I'm not interested to see any guy now..3 days did not get enuf sleep at all at HQ..Lazyla wanna go there.I met u another dae ok..

SCARLET : Ala..plzla, i beg you..i promised after tat u go home and sleep..juz fer a while onli..i nid the batt la..plz pity me la..I dunno how to set up the tent..He dunno too coz the tent is like the scouts one....plz....

BELLA: wat the hell??wanna ton but dunno how to set up the tent?u wanna me to cum down all the way there juz to pass u the batt and set up a tent for you??Sickening sia you..okla2..I'm forced to bcoz you are my fren ok..

Tat was how bella end up there at nyte..Laughing all their hearts out while setting up a tent..Bella doesn't care how she talks and looks..All it takes is to be herself. Tats her nature.She speaks her mind off but people laughed bcoz her werds were spontaneous and straightforward or maybe harsh in a funny way..Tat was how zack got to noe her wen they all talk and joke while setting up the tent. After tat,zack thanked bella fer the help.If bella did not agreed to scarlet,she wudn't hev met zack tat nyte.And she went bck. It was not long after tat,that they all mit up gain for the nightwalk at the OLD Changi HOSPITAL...

It was tat nyte after all the incident tat happen,Bella realise she had feelings for Zack.. But,she noe the restrictions to that bcoz Scarlet was sharing the same feelings towards Zack..Scarlet msged Zack to ask if any of his frens like her frens after tat nyte..Zack told Scarlet tat Ariel asks for Erin's number and Bill commented tat he like Bella's sweet smile..

Valentine was on its way and Scarlet said she wished Zack wud asked her out coz she was having a quarrel wit her boyfren..Bella said if Scarlet reali wants,she will msged Zack to ask bout tat.Scarlet dared Bella.And bella did it.She stole Zack number and msged Zack tat nyte..

Bella : Zack, i hope you answer my ques truthfully..Wat do you tink bout Scarlet??

ZAck: KInd,friendly and a gud gerl..Why u asked??

Bella : Then,answer me truthfully do you hev feelings for her??

 ZAck : why u asked me tis suddenly??hhaha

Bella :bcoz i'm her fren..and i dun wanna her to put hope on any guy and got herself heartbroken..I'm her fren and i dun wanna see my any of my frens sad..

ZAck :gud..she's lucky to have you as her fren..you are so caring towards your frens.Difficult to get a fren like you..

Bella: Tanx.i love all my frens..Its past 12 now and you still haven't ans my ques yet. Answer me honestly..Do you hev feelings for her??

ZAck :ok, since u wanna noe...i dun hev any feelings for her but...I hev feelings fer you..

Bella: look, i'm not joking over here..i'm serious of tiz..Tis is not a matter to joke bout..

ZAck :I'm not kidding,Bella..i hev feelings for you..i was about to msg scarlet tonight to ask fer ur num.But,u msged me first instead asking me bout tis..Remember bout wat i told Bella, Bill commented ur sweet smile..it was frm me actuali..Bill did noe anything bout tiz..i used his name.

Bella :gud,i'm dead..Lucky i msged you first before u msged her fer my num..i'm afraid she might get disappointed if she noes u wanna ask bout my num..look,my fren likes you and i'm not getting into the way..i dun wanna betray my own fren..I'm not supposed to contact you..I'm done of my ques.Pretend tat we never msg each other..Erase my num..i dun wanna scarlet to noe and get disappointed..

ZAck: why u dun wanna contact me??Fine,i will erase ur num and pretend tat we never msg..but,u can't stop me from asking ur num frm her..She will noe tat i want you eventuali..

Bella :WHy do u hev to make my lyfe miserable??I shudn't hev noe you frm the start if tis gonna be the case..U are threatening me??

Bella was pissed off wit Zack.It was then they fell in love.They quarrelled bout Scarlet and bella said sumting so nasty to make Zack hated her..Tat was the onli way fer Bella to drive Zack out of her lyfe..But,Zack said to Bella tat he will never hate BElla no matter how she treated hym..coz he noes bella did tat wit the purpose.Eventuali,Scarlet got to noe one day wen Bella told the truth..Indeed,Scarlet didn't even mind,she was in gud terms wit her boyfren..She encouraged Bella to kip in touch again wit  zack....The story goes on and on...

Till Bella was heartbroken one day wen she got to noe zack was attached...........

I shudn't hev believe everything you ever said to me.......Tanx u make me trust you...I hated the memories created!!!!

WELL, AFTERALL.........YOU OUGHT TO NOE TAT ZACK IS ACTUALI AIDEEL......AND BELLA WAS ME.......

 I wanted to give you tat gift..But,i cn't make it for the movie on ur 27th b'dae on 27 sept bcoz of my ulcer in my eyes..i cudn't go out from house..I kept it knowing tat i cn give it to you the next tyme we mit...we lose contact for a while and i kept msging you. U did not replied even as a fren...u kip numb..tanx,i got to noe u were attached todae to sumone 1 yr younger than me..i shudn't hev carve ur name and mine on tat gift...Shud i throw it, kip it or give it to sumone else??

  * I was heartbroken a few daes ago bcoz of tat sumone....Then,came the prince charming...he was my old secret love crush tat appear suddenly for tat moment and sumhow he makes me smile back....It was not long after tat, tat i'm heartbroken again todae bcoz of another sumone special and tat sumone was my first love...One after another...Is tat wat guyz are capable of??!!Breaking every single heart??I dun even noe how i get here wit you afterall??I made a mistake..i shud hev never got strayed in the whole love thing wit u in the beginning. U taught me once not to blame my fate..Now,I'm left wit nothing xcept to drown my tears deep inside..I reflect myself on the mirror to find wat have i lack??I search fer my identity,search for a peaceful soul in tis world of darkness but i cudn't find it..In the end, my heart still sank...

The way you look and smile at me is a small thing to you tat i cherish the most...

DINING-IN 2009....

Dining-in was a joyful one..sadiq and raihan fetched me,basirah,raudah,simah and jinfeng frm Joo koon Mrt station...we had to squeeze in the car and i swore sadiq is veri funny,he drove us like mad..Reached there,saw all the CLTS frm west,central,east,sea and air district...All shouted missing us...how ecstatic i was...Joked and laughed wit them in the auditorium..took pictures and changed to our no,2 uniform...The guys were all looking gud in their tuxedo..Then,dining in part..we sang and had sumptuous dinner..halfway,i wanted to go toilet and i told fitri..so,fitri stood up and help pulled my chair..i hev to bow gracefully towards the important ppl in front..Felt like princesses living in the dutch daez...hahaha...haikal and simah make a swit couple..took pictures wit leftenan adha and khairul too..Those two cute guyz,flooded wit most gerls who wanted to take pics wit them..After tat,went home,sadiq sent us again,he bukak bacaan surah on his radio..raudah jokes saying tat,"kau nie lau mati,mati syahid kiter,sume tengah zikir,bace surah nie..hahah"...i love my ncc peeps..though they are like tat,crazy but they are those who prayed ok..Tanx guyz u cheer me up..i felt so occupied wit u guyz around me coz u guyz are realli funny idiots...lols..u noe wat i love bout u guys??you guyz never missed out on one another n treat one another so special..i appreciate tat...and tats y, East district is known as the "Home of Champions!!"


Me wit Leftenan khairul...Most gerlz are attracted to his looks and personality..Hot stuff tat nyte...lols..

Me wit anthony,current OIC fer EAst DisTrict

Me wit Simah and amira.

\

Me wit shafiq from West district..adventure team..

Me wit Hakim from West district..

Amira and me...

"E" for EAST DISTRICT!!!!

The Home of champions...

Me wit Sergeant Major Christopher De silva..

Me wit Harun from Sea District...This is No. 2 for Air and Sea district..aniwae,Land is still the nice..haha

Me wit Khairul from Sea district..he's in the flag party for tat nyte..My dance Grease partner for 56Th intake POP performance..

LAnd EASt Gerlz....From top left,Syima kecik,jin feng,raudah,simah,syikin,fatin,basirah,amira and me..

And i'm meeting u guyz again on 11 dec for 58th intake POP and East District meeting on 12 DEC...love ya!!!

ZAHIRAH"S B"DAE CHALET....

Went to zahirah chalet yesterdae...me,simah,huda,john,syahiid,alin,taufiq n alin were there..simah went bck at 10 plus wit john coz it was john's b'dae n tat both of them goin out together..huda was waiting fer her boyfren to fetch her. Huda as usual like syahiid so much..I feel like wanna puke seeing her talk to syahiid..lols..

Me :oi,huda kol rape matair kau dtg amek??

Huda : matair aku pat sebelah aku je nie(syahiid). btol tk u??

syahiid: eh, kau da ader matair la...

Huda : tkpe, eh aku sanggup tau break ngn matair aku stakat nk kau..

syahiid :aku lagi rela amek aisah..kau single pon,aku lagi rela matair ngn aisah..

me :aww...wat can i say???hahahaha!!!lols...

huda :tk baek sak kau syahiid..

me: aww...wat can i say? i suit hym better than u...lols...

huda: eh,smpai ati u ckp ngn i cm nie tau..da knal aku since umo aku 15 sak..

me: lek sua..aku knal syahiid dulu sblom kau..aku knal syahiid umo aku 15..aku bwk kau trun lpk umo 16..

huda: ala,15 blom b'dae la..

me: i hated u wen the first tyme i see u..kau maki2 cadet pat dlm platoon kau..garang giler sak kau..aku damn kau giler sak tat tyme..skali biler knal kau,kau punyerla klakar cm badut sak..lols..

syahiid: aku eh badut,badut tu bodo...hehe..

I went bck at 12 plus..at first,wanted to take taxi but then syahiid sent me home wit his bike..then,reached hm his speedo uat problem..so,i went up to take playar..haha...da mcm anak terbiar pat bwh blok uat speedo dier..at last he ignore n went bck to chalet..he said tis before he went home.."kau tahu asl aku tk trun??psl huda uh..mepek sak tu pompan suke aku..dier da ader matair sak..mepek,aku susah nk dpt pompan suke aku,dier senang2 ckp dier suke aku"....haiz,,so tats it.."Dun ruin friendship juz bcoz of ur unsure love.."


LIFE.....

 Aniwae...Mum start her business selling food again at potong pasir.kak siti had to look after tat shop.Pity mum,woke up in the morning to cook for the shop and go to werk in the afternoon..

aniwae,chat wit jo tat dae in facebook bout many things...He shud stirve to make his relationship n suliana lasts.."patience is the key to success"...They are a great couple together..Talk bout gangsters too..wats so great bout being a gangster??Underground society??Main baju??CRAP!!!My brother is one of the few top positions in omega..wat isit fer??FAME??SECURITY/PROTECTION??Sux...its freaking hopeless. Wat can his frenz do fer hym? In the end,ruin his lyfe. Adam khoo once said tis,"gangsters are ppl who hev low self-esteem"..FIGHTING??TRYING TO ACT BIG??TATS ARROGANCE and a pain in my eye too.. TATOO??BODY ART??Ruin ur own body..FOR PPL TO FEAR YOU??OR to look cool and macho??Making me wanna puke...wen i see the tatoo on my bro's body especially the buddha,i feel like taking a saw and scrap it off his body..haix..wen is tiz ppl gonna realise??

aniwae,i improve on my riding at prac tat dae..but,hasn't gone up to prac 2 yet..maybe bcoz i hev the tendency to put my right leg down..haha..i'm not giving up..i wanna pass the next prac,next sat.. saw sgt rusydi yg da ORD at there..saw razmeer fren..saw shafiz frm pri skool..and shocking saw taslim over there..I went to Someone's blog n tis is wat i like..."Life is not bout waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain..."

UPDATES :

11 dec pizza treat frm teacher and grooming at INTERNATIONAL PLAZA,
14 dec first theory lesson,
12 dec prac lesson,
16 dec aloha chalet deco fer DND
20 dec kakak farah's wedding, yay can sing karaoke at her wedding..haha
21 dec january intake practice
30 dec january intake rehearsal
26 dec East district bbq chlalet
28 dec  Zoom christmas
31 dec COUNTDOWN(maybe sentosa!!!!)wit ika pkcik,huda,ayn,me,simah....hmm...wat shud i wear for our theme?BLAck.....simah's wearing black dress..i'm looking fer one too..hmm...

TAKE NOTE MY M.L BUNCHIEZ......

WE ARE HAVING CHALET..YOU GUYZ ARE TO FORK OUT MONEY FOR THE FOOD..
$15 - $20....
Date: 1-3 January 2010
Venue: Downtown East chalet
Time : 3pm
Strictly Reminded tat GUYZ are NOT allowed...NO other GENDER!!!!!
We can talk bout tat onli after we are there...Plz pay up ur money to me by 30th dec...


* I met my old love..He was once my perfect and dream guy tat i've wanted..My perfect prince charming..Till now,he still is and will forever..Since i saw u,i juz can't stop smiling..Plz dun wake me up frm my wonderland and let me fade into the kingdom of yours..I juz need a spare piece of ur heart will do..